Completing the Saga
by slaquan
Summary: Hopefully ties up any of the loose ends that i was alerted to in the last story
1. Chapter 1

"Do you think it might be possible for you to get your children to keep their butts and feet off of my head?" Ava asked from beneath the blankets and pillows. It was Saturday morning so not only were the Spence and Ally covering as much space as their small bodies allowed but Stino was crowding Ava out as well. The bed was an eighty four by seventy two inches California king and she could barely hold on to three of those as her children slowly but surely moved her towards the floor. "Or should I just give up and put my pillow on the floor?"

"Um sorry baby but I think Thomas might get a little pissed about you invading his space" Ashlee laughed. No matter how often the two woke up in the middle of the night to remove an unwanted child each morning they were guaranteed to have one squatter on board. Stino and Cat rarely wandered into their room and both had been sleeping through the night almost at day one. Only special occasions and illness got those two from their warm beds. Three year old Spence was still sneaking into his parents bed every other night but generally he would only venture out of his room after the sun started peeking into the sky. However Ally spent more time in their bed than she ever did in her crib. The girl hadn't even made a butt impression on her mattress. A few months after joining her new family Ally watched as her older brother Spence climbed in and out of her crib for fun and soon she'd gotten the mechanics down and was escaping the box almost as soon as she was placed into it for the night. She still spent the early morning aggravating her big sister but that was only after she'd spent the night keeping her mommy and mama wake. Ashlee conceded defeat at keeping her bedroom a child free zone but drew the line at dog breath and hairs. Ava laughed that Thomas deserved to sleep with them because he was the only minor in the house that could be counted on to obey the parents regularly. "Don't forget that Natalia is taking Stino shopping after breakfast for a new suit and mom and Olivia are taking the twins to the park. I should be home by four to help you with the baby" Ashlee whispered uncovering her wife's head as she leaned down to kiss each member of her family. As she was moving out of the room Ava reached out and pulled her down to the bed. "You needed something?"

"How is it fair that I get stuck with ghost rider and you get to hangout at Company?" Ava had given all the children special nicknames that her wife had to grudgingly admit fit their personalities more than she would have liked. Augustino Spencer Wolf Peralta was quietly called the pope not only because his abuela had a fit each time she heard it but more importantly because they didn't want to give her any more ideas where that was concerned. Ava, Olivia, and Doris were convinced that Natalia was trying her best to make the boy the first Puerto Rican American leader of the Holy Church. He was the only child in the entire extended family that was waiting each Sunday to accompany Natalia to mass. Their first official Sunday in their new home Stino had asked his parents about his confirmation. Surprised Ashlee and Ava hadn't taken their son's request seriously until Stino explained in detail his reasons for wanting the ceremony but they had finally consented based on Natalia's recommendations. Stino was enrolled in a confirmation class and Natalia accompanied him each Sunday until the big day. Neither of his parents had ever been previously involved in any type of religion but trusted Natalia to protect and guide their son through the dogma of the religion towards its spirit.

Jeffery Spencer Wolf Peralta, AKA the natural, lived a charmed life. Every mother that saw him fell instantly in love with the boy and every father secretly wished he was his own. Without even trying the boy walked onto any field and was in immediate force to be reckoned with. His athletic abilities were a total surprise for everyone because neither Ava nor Ashlee were known for their grace at that age. It wasn't just his physical talents but he was the best at everything he did and it was completely effortless. Ava and Ashlee were finally able to get the children involved in sports simply because now they had the time to devote to practices and games and from the first moments that Spence was on the field kicking around the soccer ball it was clear that he was made for the game. He had the coordination and speed and in a short time would have the techniques. He played with the three and four year olds but coaches from the up to two ages up kept coming around watching his fluid footwork with the ball. After only the first game he had his own fan section filled not only of his yelling parents, screaming grandmothers, crazy siblings, and insane aunts but there were also more than a few fathers trying to pick up Ava and Ashlee's brains for tips. Spence was so good that Ava and Ashlee decided to take Stino off the soccer team and let him try football just so he wouldn't be compared to his younger brother. He was a decent with practice but he would never be as good as his brother. Ashlee had a feeling that his sea green eyes, Spencer smile, and athletic prowess were going to cause both her and a lot of the women of Springfield a lot of heart ache and she wasn't looking forward to it one bit.

Catherine Spencer Wolf Peralta was otherwise known as El Jefe because although she was not the biggest nor the oldest sibling she was without a doubt the ruler of the house. Her temper was usually kept in check especially since the arrival of her baby sister but there were still times that the tiger came out and kicked ass. Most of those ass kickings were reserved for her twin brother but she didn't mind sharing the wealth with the eldest Wolf Peralta or a few knuckle heads on the playground. Spence and Stino had gotten overconfident when they learned that Ally had gotten away with interrupting Cat's sleep and one day had jumped on Cat's bed in surprise. The joke was on them because Cat immediately slapped one and then kicked the other without even opening her eyes. That was the last time either one even approached her door until the girl was fully dressed and fed. There was a cheerleading squad for little girls at the park but even at three it was easy to tell that she wasn't the pep rally type. She did an hour of soccer with her brothers but had to be taken off the field when she kept aiming her kicks for the other children instead of the ball. Flag football, basketball, t ball and even lacrosse were tried before it was clear that the girl like her grandmothers before her was not exactly a team player. Karate was available but no one thought it prudent to encourage the girl to get better at kicking or punching. Her mommy and mama wanted all their children including Spence to reach adulthood with as little injuries as possible. On their way home from practice Natalia saw a flyer for gymnastics and the girl immediately loved it.

The youngest and newest member of the family had turned one less than a month ago and neither her mommy nor her various grandmothers were ready to see the girl bruised and scraped up just yet. Although Ava was the one who first thought up the creative monikers for her children the other grandmothers quickly began using them as well, except for the pope, Natalia was still a bit touchy about that one. But Alicia Karan Wolf Peralta's name from her mama of ghost rider was Ava's alone. From the moment that Ava left work to finish her degree and began watching the twins and Ally during the day the older woman could tell something was up. When the other children were around everything was perfectly fine but when she was alone with Ally there was trouble. Ally was so light on her feet that she would be out of the room and exploring halfway down the hall before Ava noticed. When she was with the other children it was no problem because they made enough noise to alert them of their general location and activity but when ever the girl was alone Ava felt like any moment she was going to catch the girl hanging off the ceiling. Turning away for less than two minutes to answer her cellphone in the kitchen Ava lost the girl and it took almost another five before she found on the other side of the house in the guest bathroom. She didn't destroy things but Ava was sure that the girl was purposely screwing with her. No one else complained of the habit and had even jokingly asked if Ava had been prescribed a bit of medicinal Mary Jane by her therapist. When Ava would finally track the girl down Ally would look up with her big brown eyes and smile as if to say "gottch again." She had bought Thomas in hopes of getting a better locating tool but the girl had subverted the lab. Wherever she found the one year old he wasn't too far behind asleep. "You know she's just waiting for everyone to leave so she can sneak away from me again. If you see a news report about a wandering one year old and a chocolate lab don't say that I didn't warn you" Ava groused not bothering to look up as her wife's eyes rolled.

"If you would rather listen to ten preteens obsessing about Twilight and Justin Beiber and in the middle of all that try and put together a year book then you can take my place and I'll get back in bed and go to sleep." Looking down she knew there would be a pitiful pout.

"Fine but you owe me big for this one" Ava whined as she pulled her wife down for a final kiss and waved as Ashlee walked away. For the past four months Ava had been not only a fulltime stay at home mother but also a part time graduate student and a quarter time assistant to her mother at the Beacon. Of everything Ava was surprised that school was by far the easiest of her obligations. Although she knew she wasn't any of the children's first choice when they were ill and in need of comforting she was still very involved in their care and thought spending the daytime alone with them was going to be no problem at all. Boy was she wrong. Ashlee's first day at work the kids kept peeking around the corners and running into rooms in search of her. Ally spent most of the day sitting in the doorway waiting for her mommy to return. "Hey it's not the first time you all have spent the day with me what the heck guys?" It took almost a week before the children stopped hanging onto Ashlee's legs wailing as she pried their clenched tiny fingers off of her legs and arms. "I know that I am not that bad" Ava sighed at her grinning wife who had to coo promises of return "Don't worry they might be on the corner waiting for you when you get back since they hate being home with me so much"

"That's fine just as long you understand that you better not be in the house without them when I do get back" And such had been Ava's lot. She took care of Ally and the twins while Stino and Ashlee were at school during the day. When three thirty rolled around she and the kids walked to get their brother and they did homework and played as they waited for another hour to pass before Ashlee came through the door and sat down at the table and the whole day started all over again. Ava still couldn't cook and she was still definitely not allowed anywhere near any meat intended for the children but she had learned how to reheat very well. Every night Ava and Stino were apprentice chefs for Ashlee and prepped her meats and vegetables for the next day's meal as the twins, Ally and Thomas played beneath them.

Looking up from shelling his peas at the table Stino asked "Mama can I have a sleep over like Steve" almost every pea that he freed from the its green confines went into the bowl in the middle of the table but Spence was able to wrestle a few away by constantly bumping his head on the bottom of the table. "STOP Spence. Spence is shaking the table mommy"

"Bud inside voice okay and I don't think now's the best time for a sleep over because mama has big tests coming up babe" Ashlee explained as she watched her little boy diligently mangling each tender pea.

Spence yelled as he ran round and round the table harassing his sisters and brother "Mama has testssss" "Mama has testsssss" MAMA HAS TESTSSSS" Okay there would be no more sugar, artificial colors or any type of stimulants for that kid for the next ten years Ava thought as she watched him first wiggling his fingers in his sisters faces just millimeters from their faces and instantly knew her son was going to get a five finger salute very very soon. He strayed just a hair too close to Cat and she pummeled him as expected and which caused him to accidentally bump Ally and he was promptly and thoroughly chin checked by the year old girl.

"If you all will excuse me mama needs an adult beverage" Ava announced. Hours later laying in their room praying that Ally would sleep at least a few hours in her own bed before invading theirs, Ava and Ashlee held each other tight. The children were finally asleep although it seemed like a battle to the death each night to see who would give in first the parents or the kids. While Ava loved spending her days with her children she couldn't deny that she greatly missed adult conversations and the feelings of accomplishment she got from long days at the office. It was harder than she had imagined giving it all up to chase children and spend all day watching cartoons. Each morning she watched Ashlee go out the door to work she realized again how wonderful her wife was and how much she'd sacrificed to protect and care for their family. Truthfully Ava didn't know if she could have made the same decision if she had been the one with the doctorate degree. Two years she chanted to herself over and over again when it got too stressful, just two years. "Two more weeks and Stino will be a few steps closer on his road towards the holy pontificate"

"You do realize that you're going to have to stop making comments like that when he does get confirmed"

"How is it possible that you're my DNA made a person that's as good as he is. I mean have you met my mother and father? Hello its like a miracle that the holy water didn't start to boil when he was baptized"

Laughing softly Ashlee tried her best not to acknowledge the truth of her wife's statement. "What can I say those Rivera genes are legendary. She did domesticate your mom. That has to count for something"

Feeling Ashlee start to drift Ava remembered something she'd meant to tell her earlier. "I almost forgot Nat said Rafe is coming into town for a few day" leaning over and not getting a response Ava assumed that the other woman had drifted off to sleep but was immediately corrected when Ashlee shot up and turned towards her with an intense stare.

"What the hell does he want?"

"Ash?"

"Don't Ash me. What the fuck is he trying to pull? If he thinks"

Taking her wife into her arms Ava tried her best to calm the situation. "Ash Nat just said that he had taken a few days of leave and wanted to see"

"See who? See our son so he can screw with his head"

"Ash Natalia"

"You know what I love Natalia as much as you do and I absolutely adore the relationship that she has with our children but Rafe is not and will never be Augustino's father and if he is coming here to" Ashlee stopped suddenly unable to finish as her throat tightened with tears. Burying her face in Ava's neck she held on tight and the pain and anger flooded her mind and her heart.

"Baby you know I would never do anything to jeopardize our family. Please trust me I won't allow anyone to hurt us not even Rafe"

"But, but" Ashlee blubbered overcome with grief and sadness. "What if he decided he wants to be his father now"

"But nothing. You have to trust me baby. I will protect us I swear" They spent the rest of the night holding each other tight not looking forward to the troubles that would come with the dawn.


	2. Chapter 2

"But mama I don't want itttttttt" Cat whined leaning towards Ava raising her voice with each passing moment as she pushed the brussel sprouts around her on plate. Normally when she was faced with such a violation of her palate anywhere near her grandparents she would simply bat her eyes at the nearest grandma or abuela and the situation would be swiftly rectified however Ashlee had known the meal's menu and had purposely moved the girl away from any of the grandmothers in question. Cat knew from much experience that Ashlee wasn't the parent to plead her case to and tried her hand at her mama. Alone Ava would have caved as soon she saw the pout forming on Cat's mouth when she first saw the green balls of grossness on her plate. Ava probably wouldn't have even put the vegetables on the plate in the first place but Ashlee was keeping a close eye on the drama unfolding and quickly said "Stop it. You know the rules you eat at least one before you leave the table. Now calm down before you don't get cake" Rolling her eyes in Wolf fashion Cat tried to decide if cake was worth the pain.

Unless there was prolonged sickness or out of town business everyone in the Spencer, Rivera, Wolf, and Mahler families was around the dinner table each Sunday laughing, exclaiming, and sometimes even cursing late into the evening. Each of the older women sat around each time still amazed at how full and wonderful her life was. At one time in the not too distant past each had been alone and caste aside by their family and friends wondering if she would ever have the opportunity to love again but now she had children and grandchildren surrounding and loving her. Living so near to each other now it wasn't such a huge deal where the grandchildren spent their weekends. Throughout the week one of the grandmothers picked at least two of the four up to shuttle them to different appointments and obligations and then drop them back off at home so it wasn't uncommon for them to see their babies each day of the week. In addition the grandchildren now were so comfortable with each grandmother and having their own schedule apart from their siblings that Cat might spend the weekend with Blake and Doris while the boys spent theirs with Olivia and Natalia and then switched the following week. The kids even spent a few nights a month at Reva's to the utter but silent disapproval of Olivia. Only Ally refused to budge from her parents bed for longer than one night at a time. She loved her grandma's and abuela but hadn't gotten over her lingering fear that they could disappear completely if she strayed away too long or too far.

In Ally Doris had finally gotten her wish of being the favored grandmother. Ally went to her first when she entered a room and sought her out whenever Doris wandered away for any length of time. It helped that Ally was the only grandchild with even a spark of interest in the law. When she first joined the family she would sleep only a few minutes at a time here and there and then be up for long stretches during the night. Stories, warm milk, rocking and singing did nothing to wear the kid down. Doris had even decided to read her from some of the chapters of her law books hoping to bore the kid but Ally had been a trooper and sat still rapt with interest. Whenever Doris had any text to go over for an upcoming exam she and Ally spent hours holed up in her office going over justice minutia. Doris had vowed to make Ally the first Wolf to sit on the bench.

Of all the children Ally was the only one who needed the most personal attention which was normal considering her history in the foster care system. She was fine as long as someone in her immediate circle was within her sight every time she thought to look up and take in her surroundings. They didn't even have to be watching her for the girl to feel at ease. Often her busy caretakers were either on the phone or busy on any number of projects but if Ally could see them or even hear their voice as they walked through the house everything was fine. Once when the grandchildren were spending the weekend with Doris and Blake the little girl fell asleep just before a trip to the grocery store and it was decided to leave the girl with Clarissa. Toddler duty wasn't a big deal but too bad for the teen she'd put the girl in bed alone and then went downstairs to complete some choirs. In less than five minutes Clarissa was scared to death by this blood curdling screech that kept rising in pitch and volume with each passing second. The teen was sure she was going to find Ally covered in blood or in the throes of convulsive fits. Fifteen minutes later when Doris and Blake opened their car doors they immediately unbuckled the children and sprinted into the home expecting the worst. It took thirty minutes of soft words and warm hugs from Blake, Doris and Clarissa before the girl stopped wailing. In an hour when Ally was still shaking Blake was seriously considering taking the girl into the ER just to have her checked for illness. Since that time everyone knew to keep the girl close by no matter what was going on around her.

"How is it possible that Spence manages to get most of his food everywhere except his mouth and still doesn't loose weight?" Olivia asked wiping up another one of his messes from the wooden floor. Before the grandchildren were so prevalent she and Natalia had plush carpet under the drafty floors but after a few years scrubbing at stains had gotten old fast. Even the other children's messes combined together weren't as bad as Spence's in terms of number and complexity of stains produced. Getting tired of having to recarpet twice and deep clean twice a month Olivia just decided it would be easier just to go bare floors.

"Not a problem for you have if your increasing pant size is any indicator" Doris cackled clearly pleased to have gotten such an easy set up. Turning her head a neck breaking speed Olivia just shot her best friend a Spencer patented stare and nodded her head signaling the commencement of bitchfest as soon the mess was cleared.

"Why do you even let her bother you. You of all people know she's in need of treatment" Blake laughed bending over help Natalia clear the plates from the table. Looking around her house Olivia noticed her daughters in living room erasing most traces of the babies play at the farmhouse. Ava was vacuuming, Emma was rearranging, and Fancy was removing the toys to their rooms upstairs. On the upper level Ashlee and Clarissa were trying their best to wash the four children without soaking themselves in the process. Natalia and Blake were putting away food and washing up and she was picking up the dinning room.

"How the hell is it that everyone else in the house is busy doing something and you're sitting on your ass eating my last slice of cheesecake?"

"That's because I'm academically trained and certified to supervisor, instruct, and inspect and I have a semesters worth of student evaluations to support my defense" Doris said taking a break to sip her wine as she moved the cake in question from the server onto her personal plate.

"You're going to need a brace to support your neck if you take one more move towards that desert Wolf"

"Well I haven't ever"

"And you won't ever again if you take another bite of my wife's cheesecake" Walking towards the doorway Natalia and Blake stood with their hands on their hips looking pointedly at their respective spouses. "How is this my fault I'm helping. She's the one being a lazy son of a"

"That's quite enough Olivia" Natalia shook her head laughing in exasperation.

"Thank you Natalia. At least someone here knows how to treat company"

"I'll treat you to"

"Doris step away from the table and start getting Spence's bags together remember he's spending the night with us tonight so I can take him to the doctor's tomorrow." Blake instructed walking back to the kitchen.

"But"

"No buts. Just do it sweetheart" Blake retorted not bothering to turn around.

"This is the reason no one likes you" Doris shot towards her laughing best friend in what she thought was a quiet voice but when Blake turned back around and cocked her head at her wife Doris was quick to straighten the situation. "Not you baby" but as she was explaining she made sure to do it as she was backing towards the living room.

"Ha ha scareddy cat" Olivia teased just before Doris was totally out of the room.

"Olivia"

"Sorry dear"

With all the different children settled on which home they were spending the night the adults sat in the living room going over the new weeks upcoming events. What meetings had to be attended, which games would be watched, and what practices met at what time and who was to be the driver. "You know this would be so much easier if you and ma would get me my own car" Emma reasoned as she watched the adults consulting their smart phones and pda's. "I could take Spence to his practices and I could drop off dry cleaning and whatever else you needed" Whether that would be true once the said car was delivered was another thing. Most likely when she was given the freedom to explore the world at leisure with her girlfriend the babies and her parents would be the last thing on her mind but they didn't have to know that. "I'm sixteen. I get good grades. I'm responsible and I deserve a car" Emma added feeling that the situation was the perfect platform for her demands.

Having heard the arguments almost everyday since the girl had turned fifteen Natalia was in no mood for a continuance "Emma not now"

"But ma"

"No buts Emma and that's the last I want to hear about this tonight. We told you we would think about it and get back to you by the time you took spring break next week so that's enough" Olivia added more sharply than maybe she should have but she was in no rush to have her little baby moving further and further down the path towards independence and adulthood.

They hadn't said no out right and as far as Clarissa was concerned and that was as good as they were going to get with the parentals. She was several months older than her girlfriend and had almost had her own car and had even gone out and picked the one she wanted when the bottom dropped out. Driving Doris and mom to the store she had stupidly answered her ringing phone without even considering its impact and proceeded to drive almost a entire block before her mother reached from the backseat and snatched the device from her ears. That was almost a semester ago and they warned her a car wouldn't be back on the table until she was ready to go back for her senior year. Taking Emma's hands in her own Clarissa tried to send her girlfriend positive vibes.

"So everybody clear on their assigned tasks for the week?"

"Clear as paint" Doris laughed ticking Spencer as Blake held him in her arms. The kids were so used to doing their own thing that Cat didn't even wave goodbye to her brother as she pulled her parents towards the car. It was past eight pm and there was a bed with her name on it but she was pulled up short when her abuela ran into the kitchen to answer a ringing phone. When it seemed that Natalia would be gone for a while everyone again moved towards the door but stopped when Natalia came back in kiss her babies goodnight a bit breathless but sporting a huge grin. "Better watch out Spencer your woman's seems awful happy after that secret phone call" Doris whispered.

Ignoring her sometime nemesis and in law Olivia took Natalia in her arms and asked "What's up baby?"

"That was Rafe. He called and asked for a good time to come see everyone while he was on leave. I told him anytime would be wonderful."

"So all the brats home at once. That'll be a first in a long while" Olivia said as she kissed her wife's forehead. Seeing the tears beginning to form in her best friends eyes Blake hugged her tight and then reasoned "Sounds like a perfect reason for a Spencer-Rivera, Wolf-Mahler, Wolf-Peralta bash"

"Don't forget the Spaulding-Mahlers" Clarissa whispered in her girlfriend's ear.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting in bed waiting on her wife to finish showering Olivia went over the all the reports and meetings that would greet her when she walked into her office. She still loved going to work each and every day and she was still enthused to make her company the best that it could be for her children and their children. But she couldn't lie that since Ava's departure it wasn't the same. Ava hadn't even really left she'd taken a leave of absence or a sabbatical for a few years so that she would be in the best position possible to help guide the company. And it wasn't like she was completely gone because Ava still went over spreadsheets for her and maintained contact with long term clients but it just wasn't the same. Deciding to take a therapeutic shopping break in the middle of the afternoon was out. Using code words and sharing secret jokes during long boring meetings was a thing of the past. Olivia would never admit it to anyone especially her daughter but she missed walking into her office yelling at Ava for sitting in her chair and getting bagel crumbs all over her desk. It meant more than the oldest Spencer could say that Ava would leave her life in New York and create a life here with her. A few years ago a civil conversation was the most she could have hoped for and now Ava felt as much her daughter as Emma and Francesca were. It was almost too easy to imagine how life could have been in the girl had never taken a twenty year hiatus from her life. Soon she kept telling herself over and over. Soon Ava would be finished with her studies and would soon be back at the Beacon where she belonged. Olivia would not even consider how she would feel if at the end of her studies Ava decided she was suited for a different path than the growing hotel.

Feeling first the damp heat that came from behind the bathroom door Olivia turned towards her wife slowly making her way into the room. They had been together more years that Olivia had ever thought she would be with anyone much less a woman and still her love and desire for Natalia floored her. Natalia rarely wore anything sexier to bed than a long tshirt and a pair of workout pants but to Olivia she couldn't have wanted her more if she were wearing the most expensive lingerie and garters. Watching Natalia quirk her eyes and grin at her she knew her needs were broadcasting loudly to the other woman but neither said a word as Natalia sat at the mirror going through her nightly rituals. Each second that passed Olivia could feel her restraint slipping. I swear to God if she doesn't finish brushing her hair this second I'm going to throw her on the floor and damn the consequences. Although she was pretty sure there wouldn't be too many consequences as long as Natalia came and didn't get any rug burns. She was staring at her wife so hard that she almost didn't hear her wife's response to her blatant attraction. "What did you say sweetheart?"

"I said if you keep looking at me that way I won't be held responsible for you being late to work tomorrow"

Laughing softly but not daring to break eye contact Olivia reasoned "Well I am the boss. I should be relatively safe"

"Safe. It's funny you should say that word. I don't know if I am too safe with you looking at me that way."

"Natalia you always will be safe with me. I'd rather die than hurt or disappoint you. You should know that"

"I do because I feel exactly the same about you" Natalia whispered as she moved towards the bed and her wife. Several hours later when they were laying side by side tired and relaxed from their love making Natalia sighed deeply and said "I can't believe that Rafe will be coming home so soon. I can barely remember the last time he was here"

Tickling her wife softly Olivia rolled them over until she was on top and growled "You must be getting oldstimers because he was just here a couple of months ago remember for Fancy's birthday?"

"I know but I just miss him. I spent nineteen years of my life living completely for him its hard to break out of the habit."

"I know baby but maybe since he's settled down and gotten that instructor's position on base we can start visiting each other more regularly. And he won't be that far away Oklahoma is only a few hours away. You're baby is doing really good you should be proud"

"I am but I can tell something isn't right. I can hear it in his voice. I hope nothings wrong between him and Sherry they seemed so happy the last time they were here"

"Hey no borrowing problems before they arrive. I suppose that must mean I didn't do my job as well as I should have if you have enough energy to worry" Olivia whispered as she began to softly kiss her wife's neck.

"Don't let me stop you" Natalia moaned as Olivia's mouth moved to cover her own.

Emma lay in bed waiting on Clarissa's last phone call of the night. It had been a busy weekend and an even busier week and she and her girlfriend hadn't spent nearly enough time together as she would have liked. Emma was playing sports and Clarissa was doing all the crazy things she did everyday. They had barely gotten to see each other Saturday because of Emma's practice and Clarissa's endless committee meetings. There were also two friends of Clarissa's that were moving to England and the girl had spent the last couple of days spending time with the sisters. Emma was trying her best to be supportive and understanding but there was a limit to even how far she could bend when it came to the girl. Not that Clarissa was neglecting her because she always called and texted no matter what she was busy with but the phone was no substitute for her girl's kisses. "Hello, God I was afraid that you had fallen asleep"

"Well you could have called me Em" Clarissa laughed as she tried to get comfortable in bed.

"I didn't want to wake up Spence if he was in the room with you"

"Are you crazy I've slept with my nephew one time and that was more than enough thank you. I like my teeth securely in my head and he kicks like a mule when he sleeps"

"I miss you"

"You just saw me not" looking at face of her phone "forty five minutes ago"

"Well I still missed you"

"I missed you too baby" Clarissa sighed and Emma could hear the sleep invading her girlfriend's voice.

"Do you want me to let you go?" Emma asked hoping against hope that the answer was no.

"I wish I could stay on the phone with you all night Em but I really have to get to sleep. Ms Masterly has me up doing my report first so I don't want to be too sleepy. You know how she is"

"Yeah I know she's a total cunt"

"EMMA!" Clarissa shrieked as softly as she could scandalized that her normally sweet girlfriend would use such a vulgar word.

"Don't Emma me she's a total bitch and a complete shit. She is always making fucking snide remarks about Sodom and Gomorrah. And making references to alternative lifestyles being the ruin of the country. She's a total bitch and if she says one more thing to you I'm going to"

"You are not going to do anything Emma Spencer Spaulding. She has every right to believe what she wants"

"But she has no right to try and make you feel bad because of that. She's a fucking teacher not your judge."

"You don't even know what hapened"

"I know exactly what she did but not because you told me. I thought we promised not to have any secrets from each other. Laura told me that she made so upset you have to leave the room to cry because she was being a fucking retarded cunt with her bible quotes and bullshit. I swear I was ready to walk in that room and tell that"

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. I would like very much to be able to say that my girlfriend is a high school graduate and if you go off on her you won't be. You'll be expelled."

"I don't give a fuck about that"

"Well I do and just because she is being ugly it doesn't give you the right to be ugly back."

"That bitch can't help but be ugly. That's how much her God loved her he made her look like a bulldog sucking on a lemon" Emma knew that her more even tempered girlfriend would not admit to laughing and agreeing with her but she could hear her chuckles even with the phone muffled. "I just can't stand anybody hurting you Rissa"

"I'm good babe. I have to take this woman's class and listen to her bigotry for the rest of the year but I get to spend the rest of my life with you so it's all good."

"I love you so much"

"You too so be good or I'll have to punish you"

"You're going to spank me?" Emma smirked.

"Nope that's what you want me to do. I'm going to make you spank me and then not let you kiss it to make it better"

"Burnnnn" Emma laughed as she heard the phone line softy click.

Every since she'd heard that her big brother was coming in town for a visit Francesca could not settle down to sleep. Her daddy was one of the most important men in her life but he paled in comparison to her big brother. She loved her older sisters and adored being a big sister even if Amy did spend most of her time crying and pooping but the one person topped all her lists aside from her mommy and ma was her big brother Rafe. As far back as she could remember when he came into town it was like she was the world's most important princess. Each time he made it back to Springfield he would sneak in and never tell anyone the exact date so that she would be totally surprised when he came to her classroom dressed as in his uniform and introduced himself to her entire class. He had done it each year she'd been in school and each time she was just as proud and just as surprised as the first time. After he'd spend an hour answering questions and playing games with her classmates he would then take her out of school and they would spend the day at the zoo, or having a picnic, or at a museum, and the last time it was at to see a long awaited movie.

Rafe spent a lot of time with their mama and her daddy when he came back but most of the time he was with her and that was just the way she wanted it. It had broken her heart the first time Rafe brought his then girlfriend to meet the family. Rafe was definitely not supposed to like any other woman other than her and her mama. If she had been a bit older she would have told the girl exactly what she thought of her in detailed description but instead she just sulked and pouted whenever the girl would try to talk to her. In time she'd even come to like Sherry but it wouldn't be a totally bad thing if Rafe came home alone. Wrapping herself in his army t shirt and holding close the teddy bear he'd sent for her last birthday Francesca dreamed of all the adventures she and her brother would explore.


	4. Chapter 4

After finally getting Spence to stay in his own bed and lay down for sleep Doris came into her bedroom not at all surprised to see her wife still on the phone talking and laughing. Blake had finally taken the call as they drove home but Doris knew that her phone had been silently vibrating most of the day they were at the farm. Blake was a very important business woman and a commanded a lot of respect and a healthy following in the literary and publishing world. There were a million reasons why her wife spent hours attached to her phone Doris kept telling herself but each time the phone buzzed and each time Blake flicked her hair as she laughed Doris could only feel very seriously ill. The newest author at Blake's publishing house was a former Senator and a current Ambassador to China. He had finally agreed to write his memoirs after hundreds if not thousands of agents had tried to entice him only after Blake had personally met with him twice in New York and in Paris. The final contract was still in the works but Blake had single handedly landed the hottest property of the political world. Doris should have been proud and she was but the more she saw her wife in action at business dinners and corporate meetings the less and less sure she was that she had what it took to keep a woman as vibrant and exciting as Blake Mahler.

Blake had been married to a couple of Spauldings and a United States Senator. What the hell would she see in a has been mayor of a podunk town and a not even one term retired State's Attorney 's General. Doris taught beginning law to at a second rate college. She and Blake weren't even in the same universe much less the same orbit. At one time she could see the logic in Blake deciding to choose her instead of all the other suitors that flocked to her but now? Now when she walked into a room more than likely no one even knew who the hell she was they only vaguely thought she looked kinda familiar. Blake was unlike any woman Doris had ever met. She was positively magnetic when she was working the room. Many days Doris had looked across the room at political rallies when she was on her A game and was struck dumb at her luck in landing Blake Mahler when she knew almost every person in the room was salivating over the redhead. Now she looked across the room and she knew that those watching were just patiently bidding their time until they could be the one Blake held onto.

The lingering fear had always been with her even when she was at her highest but she kept it at bay with more rallies and greater aspirations but now that politics was officially closed to her if she didn't want to have to defend her history of medication dependence she just faced each day with the growing fear that it might be the last. Not that Blake had done anything in particular to signal her discontent. Actually Blake had done nothing to make her even the slightest hesitant but in the past month since her business relationship with Ambassador Richard Kenny Doris was feeling more and more expendable. He was everything that she was not. He was refined, wealthy, world famous, successful and powerful to boot. Hell he was a man and that was looking more and more like it might be a big improvement. For whatever reason either schedule conflicts or lack of interest Blake and Doris had not made love in over two weeks. The only time that they were less intimate was when Doris was spending most of her days on a jet. Scared to speak up lest Blake put an end to all her hopes and dreams Doris just quietly held on wondering what would be worst Blake staying out of obligation or Blake walking out the door. To be honest she knew in her heart it would never be a choice. Doris would take Blake anyway she could have her even if it meant this shadow of what they once shared but Blake would never stay anywhere she wasn't truly happy. That at least gave her some solace Blake was still in love enough to stay because when she decided she was no longer satisfied with the wreck that was her wife she would leave and Doris' world would shatter in a million bits.

"Yeah well thank you Rich I'll see if I can get James to look up that company. I'm sure I could use them if you have such high praise for them. No it's fine.. I'll talk to you tomorrow? Okay. Goodnight. Oh my God I thought he would never get off the phone" Blake sighed as she moved to finally get ready to join her wife in bed. "I'm sorry I was on the phone with him so long. I know how hard it is for you to get to sleep with me talking and having the lights on" Blake added as she moved around the room undressing.

"It's fine I know that he's an important client for you. You have to get up earlier than I do since you're taking Spence to the doctor's" Doris answered watching her wife undress. "I can take him if you want I don't have a class in the morning"

Looking at her wife through the mirror while she removed her contacts "No that's okay babe I promised Spence we would go to Company and he could get a blueberry muffin. You have your meeting with the dean in the morning right?" she asked turning back towards Doris. "They are probably going to offer you a fulltime position" Blake offered as she returned to the mirror.

It would be great if she was offered a contract but Doris didn't kid herself that even if she was offered tenure it wouldn't compare to Blake's success. "Did I hear you tell your client that you were going to be seeing him in New York soon?"

"Yes I was asked to speak at a country club's literary circle. I should only be there for a few days but hopefully it will give me the time to charm him into finally signing the dotted line" Blake grinned as she walked towards the bed and turned off the lights. Pausing because of sad expression that came to Doris' face Blake took her wife's hands in her own and kissed them. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Nothing I guess I just don't want to think about missing you for so long"

Laughing "Baby I will be gone at most three days. I think you can stand to be away from me for that long. Three days are nothing we used to do a month at a time remember?"

Suddenly glad for the darkness Doris began to feel slightly sick. At one time she had been a fool and had kept Blake patiently waiting on her return but now maybe it was payback Doris reasoned "I don't like to be without you at all. It doesn't matter how many days"

"Aww. That's so sweet. No wonder I love you so much" Blake whispered as she folded herself into her wife's waiting arms. Feeling Doris' lips moving across her shoulders and down her neck Blake took a deep breath and slightly pushed her wife away. "Baby I know we haven't made love in a while"

"Oh no its fine. I"

"No it's not fine. I'm sorry I haven't given you what you need but right now if we did anything it wouldn't be very good for either of us. Can you please understand just for a little while longer."

"No its fine. I'm fine I'm pretty sleepy myself." Doris choked out as her throat threatened to close from holding back tears. "Night" she sighed as she turned over and felt Blake arms wrap around her as a soft kiss was placed on her shoulder.

"I'm just really tired lately with all the running around for this project and everything else at work but I promise as soon as things settle I will make this up to you. I promise." Turing over Blake fell asleep before she heard her wife softly crying into the night.

Blake hadn't lied to her wife when she'd told her she was tired. If anything it was an understatement she was exhausted. For the past year and a half she had single handedly ran her publishing house along with personally cultivating relationships with authors. It was hard and tiring work but after such a long time going nonstop it was finally catching up to her. Putting one foot in front of the other was becoming a struggle by the middle of the day. At first Blake thought it was something to do with her diet or her lack of exercise or not enough fiber anything and everything at all but a month ago when she had to ask her assistant to help her to the car she got truly scared. What the hell would she do if she had some terrible disease? There was no way she could bare the thought of leaving the babies and her wife not to mention her daughter so soon. Or worse putting them through the hell of watching her slowly die.

Finally going to the doctor and taking a battery of tests she only had to sit back and wait for the results. The only thing that kept her going through the day was putting as many things in front of her that she didn't have time to think of anything else. However at home when Clarissa and Doris were quietly sitting at the dinner eating her mind filled with horrible disasters. She could force herself through that but there was no way she would be able to relax enough to make love. She be would constantly trying to pretend nothing was wrong and eventually Doris would call her on it. There wasn't any news yet so why stress out her family if she didn't have to. Maybe she should make love to Doris now she was still well enough to enjoy it? One more day. One more day and I will know what's wrong with me Blake said to herself as her wife's cries went unnoticed.

Clarissa lay in bed mentally preparing herself for her hour long first period class. Usually she loved school and never had a problem facing the next day but every since the new semester started it had been a living hell just to get out of bed in the morning. She didn't understand it. She was popular and loved by everyone teachers, students, even the freaking cafeteria staff loved her, everyone except Ms Masterly. The woman seemed to love to put her on the spot and took a perverse pleasure in seeing her flush in embarrassment. It hadn't always been the case because last year when Clarissa took her Debate class it had been her favorite subject. The woman was more like a friend than a teacher and they shared many hours preparing Clarissa for upcoming faceoffs.

That had all changed the moment the older woman saw her and Emma standing close to each other at their lockers. It was like a cloud descended between them and Clarissa could sense there was a disconnect but she never knew why until a late night at the movies a few weeks later. Emma and Clarissa were cuddled together in the back row of a filled movie theater in a world of their own completely ignoring everything and everyone around them. As they walked out arm and arm into the lobby they heard a loud "SLUTS" yelled out. Everyone stopped looked around and started laughing and Clarissa never knew that those hurtful words had been directed towards her and Emma until the next day at school. Emma had loved the Debate class so much she had waited two years just to take the Speech class that Ms Masterly taught. The mental and emotional abuse started the second she walked into the room. It was a four month class and it was nearing its third but Clarissa didn't know how much more she could take. The only thing that saved her was the fact that she was an excellent student and felt more than comfortable standing in front of the class speaking. Ms Masterly couldn't fail her but she could make each first period of her day more brutal than the last. But Clarissa was determined to out last the hateful woman and refused to give the satisfaction of making her cry in class. However Clarissa spent many long minutes huddled in the restroom praying for the end of the day.

It would be so easy to let Emma vent her frustration for her. Not only would it make her girlfriend's day but finally Ms Masterly would be as embarrassed and humiliated as she made Clarissa feel. The first time that Emma saw her crying in the bathroom stall demanding to know what was wrong it had almost destroyed their relationship.

"What's wrong Rissa? What's making you cry?" Emma begged holding the girl close.

Pulling away Clarissa wiped her face and moved to walk out of the door "Nothing. Nothing I'm fine. I'm just tired that's all"

"The hell it's nothing. Nothing wouldn't make you come in the bathroom and cry your eyes out. Now what the fuck's going on?" Emma said pulling the other girl back and moving to block the doorway.

"I'm going to be late and so are you so let me go. Let me go damn it!"

"Settle down and tell me what's going on because that's the only way we are leaving this room. I mean it Clarissa I can stay in this bathroom all day if I have to" Emma said standing firmly in front of the door. Emma was five feet eleven and half inches and didn't weigh more than one hundred and fifty pounds. She looked like a frail waif but Clarissa and the basketball team knew personally that she wasn't a lightweight. The girl not only had athletic skill but she also had an iron will and if she said she wasn't moving until Clarissa told her everything she knew they weren't budging. Clarissa would be lucky if she ever got to five foot two and broke hundred pound mark. It took almost five minutes and a handful of banging fists on the door for Clarissa a break down and once Emma moved to comfort her she slid right past the girl and into her next class.

As soon as the bell rang Clarissa knew without looking that Emma would be standing beside the door waiting for her to leave. She wondered briefly if she could stay in the room and ignore the bell but she knew Emma would wait right there until school was dismissed if she had to. Gathering some friend around her Clarissa tried her best to ignore her girlfriend's stare and wasn't that surprised when Emma reached through the throng of cheerleaders and pulled Clarissa towards the front doors. A few of the girls stopped and asked their cheer captain if she needed any help hoping that she said no because they had all seen an angry Emma in action. Shaking her head she just stayed silent as Emma walked them out the doors past the football field and under the bleachers. "Just because you don't care about skipping a few classes I shouldn't either?" Clarissa hissed as she yanked her arm out of Emma's grasp. Watching to girl Emma stayed silent and bent down to sit on the moist grass and waited for Clarissa to start talking. They both knew that they wouldn't be leaving the area until Emma had some answers. She wasn't physically holding the girl but Emma knew that Clarissa wasn't going to get away from her. The sixteen year old would never physically harm her girlfriend and would kill anyone who ever did but she wasn't above using her strength and speed to her advantage. "Emma I don't have time for this. Did you even go to your last class or did you spend the entire time stalking me? Emma? Damnit!"

"Tell me what happened and who made you cry" Not getting an answer and watching Clarissa as she turned away from her Emma asked again "So I guess this means you either don't trust me or you don't want me any more" It was a low blow but she had learned in ball to do whatever it took to get the points. Once she saw Clarissa's shocked expression she continued in a lower and calmer tone. "Please talk to me Rissa I only want to help you I promise" Bending down and kissing Emma's head Clarissa opened up about the constant stress she had been under for past week. "I swear to God I'm going to kill that bitch"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I don't want to have to worry about what she's going to say to me and also worry about what you're going to do to her."

"Fine then we are going to tell our parents"

"NO! Jesus I don't want this to be an international incident. Its stressful enough as it is"

"Rissa she has no right to say those things to you. We have to do something"

"No I can handle this and you have to promise me you will stay out of it and that you won't tell our parents"

"Rissa" Emma whined

"Em please I can deal. Promise me please" In the end the girl promised even though she hated to do it only because she could deny her lover nothing but only under the provision that Clarissa would tell Emma if the harassment got any worse. Now many weeks later Clarissa sat in bed dreading the coming day. She could do it she kept telling herself. It was just sixty minutes out of her day it really wasn't that bad.


	5. Chapter 5

Doris was sitting down at her desk in between classes and her TA was standing right behind her leaning over to show her a discrepancy on an exam. Lacy was twenty three years old blond haired blue eyed and had the most amazing body that Doris had ever seen outside of a centerfold or an adult DVD. Her hair smelled of jasmine and she was wearing just a hint of the exact perfume that Blake had worn on their first night together. She could tell the room was just a bit cold because the sheer blouse that Lacy sported was a bit tented in the chest area but Doris felt as if she were having a heat flash the way sweat rolled down her back. Christ Doris thought over and over again trying her best to keep her eyes only on the paper in front of her and not down the slightly opened shirt behind her.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything" Olivia grinned from the doorway.

Sweet Jesus on the cross Doris mentally shouted as she stood up and gruffly spoke to her smirking best friend. "What the hell are you doing here Spencer? Some of us saps have to actually work to earn a living"

"Yeah it looks like your working real hard Wolf" Leaning back Doris took the opportunity to finally put some distance between her and the grad student and turned to face her. Before Lacy could school her face Doris could see the openly hungry stare in her eyes and the hell of it was it was directed straight on her and not Olivia. Shit on a cracker. As the TA went about the slow process of bending over and gathering her things Doris could clearly see the makings of a very good strip tease being played out. The not too subtle shake in Lacy's ass wasn't that bad either and both women tried to seem unaffected when she faced her best friend and saw by the open grin that she wasn't so successful. "So that's the help? Must be horrible to work with such a barker"

"Shut it!" Doris yelled as she shoved the other woman from her seat on top of the desk. "Did you want something other than to screw with me?"

"Oh I'm not the one that you should worry about. I think Ms teachers pet has definite plans on that"

"Jesus its like talking to a hormonal teenager"

"Lucky you she looks like she just might have reached the legal limit" Knowing that nothing good was going to come of any conversation with the other woman when she was in such a mood Doris stormed out of her room and towards the department secretary and pleaded her friend's illness was going to get out of the classroom for rest of the day. She only had one more class so it wasn't too bad and by the time she'd returned Olivia was sitting at her chair with her feet propped up on her desk. "So are we blowing this popsicle stand or what?" As they walked down through the parking garage fussing over whose turn it was to pay they passed another one of Doris' nubile female students. This young lady was of Middle Eastern descent and had the most beautiful brown eyes that either older woman had ever seen. The young lady came right up to her favorite professor and barely gave Olivia a passing glance. Standing as close as a lover the girl gushed about how much she loved Doris' class. At any other time of her life all of the female attention that she received on a regular basis from her students would have kept Doris busy way into the night but now it was just scary. It wasn't anything for a phone number to be attached to an essay or for students to openly lick their lips at her during lecture. Every since it was learned that she was openly gay it seemed every female that had the desire or just a passing fantasy about lesbianism was at her door. The lack of affection at home wasn't making the situation any better. "You're a regular fucking Casanova, hot damn" Olivia laughed as they sat at in her office drinking. "Blake had better watch out or somebody is going to be the college version of Mary Kay LaTourneau"

"Fuck you" Doris yelled getting madder as the seconds passed. "And why the fuck must you always bring up the fact that you have to pay for everything?"

"What? Did you smoke a special cigarette?"

"Every fucking time we do anything together you are always complaining that you have to pay my way. I'm sorry but I didn't earn millions marrying half of Springfield and cashing in on alimony. Not to mention the fact that I am still paying for my daughter's bachelor's, master's, and doctorate degrees. I'm sorry if I can't afford to spend three thousand dollars on a nine year old's birthday party"

"What the fuck is your problem? You know perfectly well that I don't give a damn about any money that I spend on the people I love. And asshole just in case you forgot that list happens to include you but at the moment I'm not too sure why"

"I just don't appreciate you're making comments all the time about my being cheap. Everyone can't be as rich as you"

"First of all you tease me all the time about being a skank because I've been married six times so I thought it was cool but if you really are pissed about it I'm sorry. Second what the hell are you even going on about your wife has been married to two Spaudlings and has gotten multimillion dollar inheritances from her father and Ross so you aren't poor by a long shot so what the fuck are you really pissed about?"

"Blake's money isn't mine"

"Yeah right, just like my money isn't Natalia's. Say whatever you want but this isn't about money so why don't you just tell me what it is about" Walking up to her friend and placing her hands on her best friend's shoulders. "Please talk to me Doris. I can't help you unless you talk to me" Trying to think about what could possible be upsetting her friend Olivia went over their day together. "Is it one of the students? Are you?" Olivia asked unable to complete the sentence.

"Hello no. Just because I'm in the candy store doesn't mean I have sample"

"Well at least you haven't lost all your mind. So what the hell is it" "Damn you!" Olivia screamed as she slapped the other woman on the arm.

"Ouch what the fuck is wrong with you. I can have you arrested for that"

"Not before I kill you. You'll be lucky if Blake doesn't kill you if you are back to using those pills"

"I am not on Xanax dumbass" Doris growled. "Why the hell do you think I'm the one that did anything wrong"

"What's going on?" Olivia asked growing more concerned. "Talk to me Doris. Please"

"I think. I think Blake is"

"What? Cheating? Doris?"

"Yeah. Well maybe not cheating exactly but definitely something. There is a client that she talks to all the time. She's on the phone with him almost every time I see her. She's going to see him in a few days in New York"

"Doris she loves you. You know Blake she's just hyper and you know who she is once she gets involved in something."

"She" Doris started then took breathed a deep sigh. "She doesn't let me. I mean we haven't, you know"

"Really?"

"Really. Not in a couple of weeks"

Not knowing what to say Olivia just took her friend in her arms as she cried.

Blake sat watching Spence tearing up and down the empty hallway as she waited for her former lover to leave the restroom. When she learned from Ava that Spence had an appointment at the hospital she thought it would be the perfect time to get those results that she had been avoiding since last week. She wanted to know what was wrong true but once she knew that was it. Her entire world was going to change and she was going to hurt all the people that she loved. Leaving Doris and the babies stayed on her mind but what was tearing her up inside was the thought of her daughter losing another parent even before she graduated from high school. Looking at the boy Blake tried to focus on him instead of the bad news that was coming as soon as the men's room door was opened.

"Blake I thought Marcy told you I would see you as soon as I was finished"

"Rick its not like I haven't seen all you've got to offer if you know what I mean. And it's not as if I went in the stall with you jeez"

"No you just wait for me in the men's locker room"

"Just tell me what the hell I have would you!" Blake shouted in frustration but quickly calmed down when she saw Spence look up from his playing.

"Mama?" Spence said as he ran towards her wrapping his arms around her legs.

"I'm fine baby. You go play okay?" Blake said running her through his hair before he took off running back to his toys. "So Rick what's wrong with me? Am I dying?" Blake asked her hands shaking and her voice trembling.

Taking the woman in his arms Rick waited until he was sure Blake could concentrate on his words "Sweetie you aren't dying I promise" After that it took about five minutes of shouting and yelling from both Blake and her hyper grandchild Rick was able to move the pair to his much more patient appropriate office. "I won't lie to you, you do have a serious disease but it's manageable as long as you are committed to staying healthy"

"What's it called"

"You have Addison's Disease. It's an endocrine disorder."

"Christ that's what Kennedy had. Oh God I'm going to have a watermelon head aren't I" Blake gasped standing up.

Laughing Rick just shook his head and gently pushed her back into the seat. "As amazed as I am that you know that bit of history no you will not have a watermelon head."

"Watermelon head. Watermelon head. WATERMELON HEAD!" Spence shrieked.

"NO watermelon heads out of either of you!" Rick exclaimed standing up. "As I was saying your body has stopped making a certain hormone but you can take medications to supplement that. You are going to have to give up some of your many jobs and try harder to reduce stress but as long as you take care of yourself there is no reason why you shouldn't live a long and healthy life"

"Honest?" Blake whispered with tears in her eyes.

"Honest"


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't teaching in the literary department of NYU but Douglas Anderson Middle School for Performing Arts was a lot better than she had imagined when she'd come for her interview. She was the new guy again and had to do a lot of extra tasks just because everyone had enough seniority to get out of them. So she would be teaching two classes during the summer term and she was the sponsor for prom and also the school's yearbook. It was not as challenging academically as the university obviously but there were other challenges that kept Ashlee busy. She had English and Literature classes at every grade level and most of her students were very contentious because they knew a few below average grades and they were back in regular schools. Where most of her headaches came was navigating the hormonal maze of tweeners and teenagers and she found that sometimes she spent more time counseling her students than she spent teaching them. But each morning she still woke up excited to face the next day even if she did come back home bone tired and exhausted. Another bonus was she knew exactly what to expect from her four children in a few years. Not that that was exactly a good thing but she supposed she could prepare for the ordeal. She couldn't lie she didn't much miss cleaning diapers or washing crayon off walls and tables but when she sat in the classroom listening to two girls arguing about whose boyfriend was the cutest or who purposely wore the exact same dress she missed it more than she would have thought.

It had never occurred to her that Ava would ever agree to her leaving their children to continue working. Both grew up children of single mothers who spent most of their childhood working hard to give their children better opportunities than they had. There were many events and activities that both Ava and Ashlee had attended alone simply because their mothers could not afford to take the time off for. When they were dating they both had made it clear they didn't want their future children to suffer the same. So for Ava to agree to leave a position she loved in her mother's company just so Ashlee could feel like a contributor to the community was a huge thing.

The first day she went back to work was probably harder than the day her mother dropped her off at kindergarten long ago. She had been trying to prepare the children for her absences gradually. Ava left the Beacon and stayed at home two weeks and began to slowly take over more and more of the children's care but it was still hard to step back and watch. Ava let Ally run around in only diapers instead of immediately dressing her when she woke up because she was only going to get dirty later. Cat was given only her favored vegetables instead of helping the girl develop a taste for variety because it apparently only mattered that she was eating healthy. Spence had gotten proficient with pulling every item in the pantry out into the kitchen because Ava didn't think the clean up was a big deal. Needless to say that second week where she just observed her wife and their children was the hardest ever. So many times she had to stop her self for yelling and just picking up the kid and doing things the right way. Her way. Every few minutes she had to repeat to herself that the children were safe, the children were happy, Ava will not hurt or endanger our children. Ashlee drew the line however when she watched as Ava put their helmeted six year old son on drunken goggles and gave him a bat to hit a piñata as dozens of neighborhood kids stood around well within swinging reach. Hell no. So as much as she longed to continue her career it was very hard to place the care and protection of her babies in anyone else's hands even if it was her wife.

"Mommy I don't want you to go" Spence often said to Ashlee in the early morning hours as she got dressed for school in her bedroom. Her usual routine in the morning was to immediately wake Stino as soon as she shut the alarm off and then return to her own bedroom. More days than not Ally would have already made it back to her parents bed for the third or fourth time during the night. As soon as they discovered her and took her back to her room it seemed like she was turning right back around to go back. By the time Ashlee made it out of the shower Spence was on her bed looking up at her with his dark green eyes begging her not to go.

"Baby mama will be with you today and mommy will be back after school" Ashlee promised kissing his lips and stroking his face as she watched him settling against his mother and sister. The first he'd done this it had almost broke her heart. She had to wake Ava just to keep the boy from trying to follow her and his brother out the door. It was a much easier with the girls because other than the times when Ava was forced to drop Stino off to school they were fast asleep.

"But mommy I miss you"

"Awe baby I miss you too but I will be back soon I promise okay" This was just one of her many new routines since returning to work. It took her less than five minutes to get drop her son off to his elementary school but she got them both up thirty minutes early so they could have breakfast together either in the park during warm times or in the park's parking lot during the winter. For Spence she would lull him back to sleep with Elton John. For each of the children she made it a priority to create a special ritual just for the two of them. It was the only way she justify walking out the door each day. After work while Stino was playing his Wii and Spence was taking a bath she and Cat spent an hour doing the PX90x, well she did the PX90 Cat just jumped around like a wild child but it was their special time so whatever. Late at night after everyone had gone to bed she and Ally did mommy baby yoga. It was supposed to help with sleepiness and it worked great right up until the time she placed the girl in the crib. Then it took a bedtime story and maybe a song before the girl was fast asleep for the next two to three hours before the routine started all over again but this time with Ava on voice productions.

Ashlee had everything she had feared she never would be lucky or blessed enough to create. She had a spouse that adored her, children that she adored, and wonder and miracle of them all a relationship with her mother. Not only did she and Doris have a relationship they were friends. Often during the middle of the day when she was able to get an extended lunch they went shopping and traded teaching techniques. Ashlee was truly living her dreams and it scared the living shit out of her. There was not one thing that she'd desired that she didn't have. Hell she even loved her in laws. In the back of her mind she kept looking and expecting the other shoe to drop. Something anything had to happen because this good luck for so long could not last. How was it possible that a woman as gorgeous as Ava ever gave her the time of day much less stayed married to her? Four happy and well adjusted children, so where was all the tension and loneliness that had filled her own childhood. And how on earth was she going to survive once it was gone?

Sitting around the table after work trying to get as much food into the mouths of her children as possible so as to reduce the amount of mess on the floor Ashlee heard the house phone ringing. Spence was actively in the process of sticking his stalk of broccoli up one nostral and Cat was giving him a helping hand with the other. Of course now they would suddenly learn how to work together at the dinner table. "Babe could you?" Ashlee yelled to her wife as she tried to both feed Ally and devegetate her son. "Babe the phone?" She tried again finally getting Ava's attention off cutting Stino's meat. "Could you get the phone please" No one called the house phone. They only had a house phone because it came with the package so fact that Ava was spending thirty minutes talking to some telemarketer from New Delhi was really starting to piss her off. "Ava some help please!" and when Ava finally sprinted in looking a bit strained Ashlee didn't pay it very much attention. By this time Stino had decided that since strawberries in milk was a good thing a steak in milk must be most excellent. Hours later while they lay in bed trying to wind down for the night Ashlee remembered that unexpected phone call as she held her wife. "Tell me you didn't buy a subscription to the Springfield Chronicle cause you can get it for free online"

"No didn't do that" Ava responded pushing herself slightly away. That tense and guarded look still hadn't left her face.

"Ava?"

"It was Rafe on the phone. He was the one that called during dinner"

"Oh. It's good to hear from him. It's been months since we've seen him. It'll be good to have him and Sherry back at the farm. Natalia is going to love having all her babies home again" Watching her wife beginning to pace Ashlee felt a chill come over her. Ava wasn't looking like she was picturing an old fashioned farmhouse bash instead she looked like she was preparing to tell her "what's wrong baby? What did Rafe say? Is something wrong with him and Sherry? Talk to me"

"Rafe and Sherry have spilt"

"Oh no" Ashlee started but Ava continued as if her wife hadn't spoken a word.

"They spilt because Sherry had her second miscarriage. Apparently they found out she can't have any children"

"Oh God that's horrible. We have to do something for them. Of course they must be devastated. Of course they should come home to be surrounded by their family"

"They want. They want us to"

"What do they want Ava?"

"They want Stino"

And then Ashlee knew exactly how it must feel to have your heartbreak.


	7. Chapter 7

"Mama do you think Rafe is coming home today?" Fancy asked reaching over her sister's hand and snatching the basket of bread sitting beside Emma.

"Baby, I've already told you that I don't know when he's coming but I don't think it's going to be tonight" Natalia responded with a smile as she watched the two sisters wrestling over the last biscuit. "Whatever crumbs you two get on the floor I want cleaned up by the time I wake up in the morning" She said as she kissed both girls heads and followed Olivia into the kitchen. This was the first night that Francesca was back at the farmhouse from her father's. It was always like this whenever the girl returned home. She and Emma spent most of her first week gently teasing each other and openly shared warm hugs. The second week went almost like the first except the teasing had a bit rougher edge and by the third week they were near to trading blows. By the third week not only were the two girls getting on each other's nerves their parents were silently mulling shipping them both to reform school if they had to quiet their yelling one more time. However as soon the Thursday came before the trade there was a noticeable dark cloud hovering over the house. Friday Frank or Sue would be picking Franky, as she was called in her father's house, up after school and it would be another two weeks before the girl returned home for a weekend visit.

After much negotiation everyone was in agreement that it was best if Francesca rotated homes each month but both set of parents missed her so much by the end of the second week they decided the girl would spend one weekend with the loosing parent during that month. It wasn't only missing each other that made them modify the schedule. Everyone noticed that changing beds every two weeks had made a brat out of the normally even tempered girl. A two week visit was so short that none of the parents wanted to waste time on punishments or enforcing rules and the tween had enough of her mommy's influence to take full advantage of reprieve. The final straw was when Francesca took her father's pepper spray to school and then got an attitude with her stepmother when Sue saw the bottle sticking out of the girl's book bag. Now Francesca had choirs and similar rules at both homes but tonight it was the girl's night off from washing dishes yet that didn't mean Natalia was in the mood to sweep the floor again tonight.

"Ma do you think I could use the car to go to the movies with Rissa? Please? I'll be careful" Emma asked batting her long lashes and brown eyes up towards Natalia, the parent most likely to give in with the least amount of groveling. When she got permission it would be easy to get the funds from her mom.

"I wanna go Emma. I wanna go please. Mama can I go" Emma heard from her little sister as the girl jumped around the living room. Rolling her eyes towards the girl and shaking her head Emma had known very well that the grade schooler would be tagging along. Hanging out with friends from school Emma knew that she was extremely lucky to have such a cool little sister. Of course there were lots of times that the girl made her feel like using her as a piñata but on the whole Emma only preferred spending time with Rissa to her little sister.

"I'll even promise not to dump the rugrat off on the side of the road" Emma said trying hard to keep her voice rough and her face straight. It wouldn't do to let the shrimp or her parents know how much she liked her little sister. Emma had a reputation after all.

"Do whatever you like just know if my baby doesn't come home I'm renting your room out to boarders and moving you into the barn" Olivia said as she dropped keys and cash into her daughter's waiting hands.

"That's okay I like the barn better than my room anyway" Emma laughed as she kissed her parents on her way out. As she took Fancy's and her coats from the closet she saw her mother open her mouth and point her finger in the mirror about to give last minute instructions. "I know be home before twelve, no texting and driving, drive carefully, and no r rated or scary movies. Anything else?" Emma said with a smirk that could have easily graced Olivia's or Ava's face.

"Yeah smart ass no playing with your ipod while driving"

"That's easy cause I don't have an ipod I have a zune"

"You're going to ride your girlfriend on your handlebars if you keep" Olivia started before her saner wife took over the conversation.

"Olivia please go finish the dishes" Natalia laughed turning her wife around at the shoulders. Turning back towards her girls she shook her head and warned "you know better than to harass your mother like that Em. Tell Clarissa I said hello and take care of your sister" as she kissed Emma's head. "And you be good for your sister and you can have popcorn and a few pieces of candy that's it. Love you both" When Olivia came back into the living room holding two glasses of red wine she knew she would find her wife still standing in front of window as if she could still see the long gone car.

Putting down the half filled glasses Olivia whispered "Emma's a good driver. She won't do anything put her sister or Clarissa in danger babe" into Natalia's ears as she wrapped her arms around her wife.

"I know I just"

"What's wrong baby" Olivia asked turning Natalia's face towards her own as soon as she saw the tears tracking down the woman's face. "Did something happen?" Olivia said panic starting to rise in her voice and chest.

"No nothings wrong love" Natalia smiled taking her wife into her arms. "I'm just happy. I have more than I ever thought I would. I have four beautiful children and four gorgeous grandchildren and a lovely home. I've even graduated from college. I think about my life and its like I'm living some wonderful dream. I never thought I could be so happy and its all because of you"

"Hey its because of us. We both worked hard to get where we are. You are the most important thing in my life sweetheart I would do anything to keep you happy. But even I can's take credit for your degree. You did that all by yourself with hard work. I'm so proud of you and all that you've accomplished. I feel so blessed that you decided to share your life with me"

After dropping Spence off at his mothers Blake nearly ran two red lights and rolled through a stop sign in her efforts to get home. She had been calling her wife since leaving the medical library in the hospital to research Addison Disease. For the past few weeks she had been petrified that either the tests would come back with nothing or with some rare horrible illness. For so long she had lived in fear it was almost freeing to finally have a name for her gradual weakness and most importantly she wasn't going crazy. And she didn't have MS or some other slow and debilitating disease that would destroy her and her family. Having Addison was going to be challenging but she didn't have to worry about watching her illness robbing her of her life. "Where the hell are you Doris" Blake kept repeating to herself as she broke perhaps a thousand dollars worth of laws in her fifteen minute drive back to her home. Each time she called Doris' voicemail would immediately pick up. Going over her wife's schedule in her head Blake tried her best to pin point her wife's location. It had been over a month since the two had made love and the first thing on Blake's mind besides thanking God was getting as close to Doris' body as humanly possible. When her cellphone rang Blake immediately picked up expecting to hear her wife's voice "Baby where the hell are you I've been calling all day. We have some love making to catch up on"

"Oh my God mom! How about you just drop me off at the inpatient ward and get it over with jeez. I mean God like I needed to hear that. I swear"

Cutting Clarissa's rant off Blake rolled her eyes at her daughter's melodrama "Baby I'm driving so if you had something to ask me"

"Yeah if I can keep from poking my eyeballs out of my head. Jesus mom I "

"Clarissa! Sweetheart you called me for something so why don't you get to the point sweetie?" Lord once her child got on a roll there was nothing to stop her from bellyaching for ever. The one time she'd walked in on Doris and Blake in the middle of making love you would have thought they'd did it in front of her friends in the middle of a pep rally. Okay so they should have put the slide lock on the front door instead of just the deadbolt but still.

"Emma called and asked if I could go to a movie tonight. I'm guessing from your comment that you'll be glad to get me out of the house"

"How can you tell?" Blake laughed "Get Emma to drop you off at your sister's and there might be a tenner in it for you"

"Ten dollars? Mom you're a business woman so I know you understand about inflation. How about fifty"

"I can always have a set of earplugs waiting by your bedside"

"GROSSS MOMMMM"

"I'll see you tomorrow dear" By the time Blake got home Doris' car was waiting in the driveway. "Thank God" Blake sighed throwing her briefcase and purse down as she walked to her wife's office. "Doris? Doris?" Blake ended up calling out not finding her wife in any of her usual hideouts. "Doris! Where the hell" Blake started but immediately stopped when she caught a glimpse of the other woman standing in Clarissa's bathroom looking pale through cracked door. "What's wrong?" Blake asked moving in the room to take Doris in her arms. It wasn't the immediate tension that filled her wife's body that struck her first. It wasn't even the slight reddish bruise just below her ear that looked suspiciously like a hickey. No it was the light jasmine fragrance that filled her nose because it was completely unlike any perfume that either she or Doris wore. Immediately the scent brought a corresponding picture of a certain blue eyed blond twenty something girl who always stood just a little too close and looked just a little too long at her wife for Blake to trust her. From the look that greeted her on older woman's face Blake knew it was very good that their daughter wasn't home.

"It's not what you think" Blake heard as she turned on her heels and walked out of the room and picked up her purse on her way out of the door. "Blake please. Baby please I know it looks bad but please give me a chance to explain please" she heard from behind her as she stood with one foot literally out the door and car keys in hand prepared to leave the everything she'd come to depend on behind. "Please just give me a chance. Please" Disgust and nausea filled her body when Doris touched her shoulder and she roughly pulled away.

"If you have something to say say it. Say IT or leave me the hell alone!"

"I. Lacy and I. Well we"

"Did you fuck?" Blake asked suddenly more tired and scared than she'd ever been. If Doris had. If she and that bitch had. She couldn't even finish that sentence as bile filled her mouth.

"No I swear we didn't. Blake please look at me. I swear I didn't I wouldn't do something like that"

"Like what Doris? Like coming home to your wife with a fucking hickey on your neck and smelling like some underage tramp? Cause let me tell you that's exactly what it looks like on this side of the door."

"We kissed. She kissed me and I kissed her back but I promise I stopped it. I swear to you all we did was kiss"

"All? ALL? You smell just like her and you have a FUCKING HICKEY on your FUCKING NECK! So don't tell me all. You did a fucking nuff" Blake said blasting her wife with both barrels.

Coming up to Blake slowly and holding up both hands Doris let the tears flow down her face as she whispered softly "I'm so sorry you will never know how much. But I swear it was only a few seconds. I tried to pull away but I guess she thought I wanted it and held me even tighter. I didn't even realize she'd marked me until I got home. It only lasted a few seconds I swear to you."

Turing around Blake looked into Doris' eyes to verify the truth of her words. "Doris it would be better if you told me the truth now because I swear to you if I find out later that you lied to me about even a little part of this"

"I'm not lying. I'm not. I was crying and she came behind me to comfort me and then I turned around to hug her back and then she kissed me. I was so shocked I didn't do anything for a moment and then I" Doris stopped suddenly looking down and dropping her hands to her side in fear.

"Then you?"

"I kissed her for a few second and then I pulled away but she held on tighter and she kissed my neck. I guess that's when she gave me the mark because once she did that I pushed her away so hard she stumbled. She apologized and then she started to cry and ran out the room. Nothing else happened. The whole thing didn't even last a minute. You have to believe me sweetheart."

"Are you absolutely sure nothing else happened because if it did I need you to tell me now" Blake begged feeling as if her heart were breaking in her chest.

"Darling I swear" Doris said risking taking her wife in her arms but not sure enough to close the door behind them. "I love you and I would never do anything to loose you. I would die before I hurt you. I am so sorry that this happened but I didn't come on to her I promise" Feeling her heart soften Blake wrapped her arms around herself and fell to the ground in tears. "Baby I swear I swear to you. I'll do whatever you want I will quit. Whatever you need but please you have got to believe that I would never cheat on you. I couldn't." Taking the other woman in her arms Blake kissed her wife hard and tried to imprint not only her scent but also her heart onto Doris but then immediately pushed the other woman back roughly. Shaking her head when she saw the look of both surprise and extreme hurt in her wife's eye Blake tried to explain over her tightening throat.

"Get her scent off of you. I'll be waiting in the bedroom" Thousands of scenes of Doris wrapped in another woman's arms flashed through Blake's mind as she waited in their bed. It became so unbearable that she almost threw on her clothes to drive far away from the pain but the sincerity in Doris' eyes kept her waiting. Doris had hurt her true but she knew in her heart that the woman would never break their sacred vows.

"I can leave or sleep in the guest room if you want" Doris offered from the doorway with her head hanging down as tears filled her eyes.

Shaking her head Blake offered her hand to her trembling wife "I hate that you touched her for even a single moment" Blake said and immediately dropped her own head so she wouldn't have to see another woman's mark on her wife and turned off the bedroom lights. "But I know in my heart that you would never turn your back on everything we've built together. I came home picturing making love to my wife and I refuse to let that" shaking her head again and taking a deep breath "I refuse to let anyone stand in the way of my making love to you."

"I love you so much baby" Doris whispered kissing Blake as if she were the rarest treasure.

"I know and I love you" Blake added pulling the other woman down onto the bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Emma wanted to see Salt and of course Fancy wanted to see Shrek or Toy Story again. Clarissa wanted to see Apu Trilogy and all Emma knew about it was it the fact it was an arthouse film. The last movie Emma let Clarissa pick was an hour long study of snow. Yeah so the fact that Fancy was with them at least ensured that her girlfriend would have to pick a film with an actual plot. They settled on the Karate Kid remake and Emma caught Clarissa smirking at her every few minutes as she laughed. Emma loved Clarissa more than anyone on earth but picking out a movie that they both enjoyed was almost like getting perfect Chinese food at the first restaurant you tried. Fancy ignored both of them once the show started and she had her gummybears and popcorn. They could have walked out of the theater and she wouldn't have noticed until the credits started rolling.

"Can we go get some ice cream Em?" Francesca asked her sister from the backseat. She knew it was late and they should be getting home but it was very rare that she was out at night without any parents around. Emma was older but she wasn't a grown up and Francesca wanted to do as much as she could before the night ended.

"Sorry Fance I have to get Rissa back home before it gets too late"

Leaning back and catching the little girls slight pout Clarissa laughed "Actually mom wanted you to drop me off at Ava and Ash's and if I recall correctly there is a Cold Stone shop right around the corner from them. So what do you say Francesca do you want ice cream?"

"Yeahhh!" Francesca yelled jumping up and down as much as her seatbelt allowed. Emma was not the only one that missed the girl when she was gone to her fathers. Clarissa thought of the nine year old as much her sister as Ashlee. She had watched the girl grow up and could barely believe that such a tiny doll and grown so much so fast. Somewhere in the back of her mind Clarissa was struck by the gentleness and care that Emma freely offered her sister and those qualities had planted seeds of love that were blossoming still. She spent almost as much time with Francesca as she did with Emma.

There were still some nights that she lay in her bed thinking about how much her life had changed. Blake had always showered her with love and attention but there was always an underlying sadness that even daughter's love couldn't touch. After her father's death no matter how hard she tried or how close she got it always felt as if her mother had a small part of herself closed off. There were many nights that Clarissa would sit in their hallway listening to her mother cry behind her bedroom door. She waited in the doorway hoping that Blake would just once give her the chance to kiss away her tears as Blake had always done for her. Eventually it would become quiet and Clarissa knew that her mother had cried herself to sleep. In time those night got further and further apart and Clarissa almost convinced herself that they had never happened. Every so often Blake would even go out on dates but after each and every night there were traces of tears that she washed way before leaving the bedroom to face her daughter. Both were so determined to keep the other from hurting that they hid from the most important person in their lives. That all changed when they fell in love with Doris. For the first time since her father's death Clarissa saw a light in her mothers eyes.

For nine years Clarissa had been an only child and after Doris came into her life she'd finally gotten the big sister she had prayed so long for. The first time she'd spent the night at Doris' Ashlee had called and after she talked to her mother Ashlee and Clarissa had spent over thirty minutes on the phone discussing boys and clothes. She could still remember the first time Ashlee came by their home just to take her to the mall and treated her like a friend instead of a bothersome child. Having Ashlee and Ava as well as the babies and Francesca were more than her wildest dreams on her loneliest days. Emma always teased her that she never met a stranger and would even sometimes get upset when Clarissa would hold conversations with every single person they came in contact with no matter if she'd known them for years or a mere few seconds. But Emma didn't know what it was like wander around a huge house alone in the dark listening to her mother cries. Clarissa decided long ago to do whatever it took to find enough people to keep her mother from being so unhappy and she hadn't gotten out of the habit of trying to make friends.

"Can I spend the night at Ava's Em?" Francesca asked as she munched on her rocky road scoop.

"You have to clean the attic, paint the house, and dust the roof Cinderella" Emma laughed as she snuck a bite from her sister's cone. "Besides mom and ma would kill me if I didn't bring their little itty bitty baby home."

"Don't let her fool you Francesca Emma would miss you if you spent the night with me at Ava's and Ash's" Clarissa teased.

"Yeah right like I would miss a rugrat like Fancy Rancy Pansy" Emma complained sticking her tongue out . But everyone at the table knew that was exactly the truth. The Friday night that Fancy came back home she and the girl would spend the night laying in Emma's bed going over everything that had occurred during her time with her father. It was one of the ways that the time apart had brought the two closer together.

It was almost twelve by the time Clarissa made it to her sister's door and once she was in the dark banging in the dark she remembered that she'd never called ahead to even ask permission as her mother had suggested. It took a full two minutes before Ashlee stumbled to the door with Ally crawling behind her and Thomas in tow. "What the fuck?" Ashlee hissed as she pulled Clarissa into the house as soon as she saw who was at the door. Clarissa didn't even have a chance to wave goodbye to her girlfriend before the front door slammed shut and Ally was slapping her knees demanding to be held. "Would you like to tell me why your banging on my front door at midnight. If you had snuck out of the house again" Ashlee started remembering all too well Blake and Doris bursting in her home at the crack of dawn looking for their daughter.

"No I'm sorry mom said I could spend the night here after Emma and I left the movies. I just kinda forgot to call and ask you if it was okay" Clarissa said with a smile as she held the now snoring year old girl.

"That would be nice especially since Ava and I could have decided to spend the night in town without the kids"

"Yeah right. They weren't at mom's and they weren't at the farm so"

"Maybe we would have sold them to the gypsies whatever just make sure to call while I'm still conscious next time" And with that Ashlee was moving back towards her bedroom glad for a night without tiny feet kicking her neck and back. When Clarissa woke up several hours later it wasn't the sun or the smell of food that opened her eyes it was her nephews and niece discussing the merits of mango applesauce over the strawberry hinted concoction. "Mano is better Stino"

"Mango not mano"

"Manosauce" Ally yelled at the top of her voice clearly making her opinion known to her brothers.

"Do you think you munchkins could be a little quiet? I'm trying to sleep" Clarissa said trying to reason with the three.

"You weren't here last night" Stino said turning towards her "how did you get here?"

"How did you get here" Spence laughed jumping on the bed clearly happy that he could begin his favorite pastime in earnest now that his aunt was awake.

"No jumping on the bed Spence" Stino yelled ever the watchful big brother. "Stop SPENCE!" The boy was usually even tempered but whenever he was sleepy or hungry it was easy to see his Spencer temper. Gathering Ally in her arms and leading Spence and Stino to towards the kitchen Clarissa could hear their parents loud voices.

"Who the hell does he think he is. How dare he think he can come here and"

"Ash please you have to calm down"

"Fuck that I will not calm down because that son of a bitch thinks"

"Ash! He didn't say that he" Not knowing what the problem was but knowing the kids didn't need to be exposed to it Clarissa started to tickle Spence who was too busy playing with Thomas to pay his parents any attention. However Stino's face was looking strained and scared as he was old enough to know the words his parents were using were bad ones. Twirling Ally around Clarissa wanted to make enough noise so that the two would stop yelling at least until the kids were finished with breakfast. By the time they made it to the kitchen Ava had taken over teasing the children and the puppy. It was a tense meal even if the children didn't notice. Clarissa could see tears threatening to fall from her sisters eyes and Ava kept eyeing her nervously and tried her best to distract Stino from his mommy's mood. But Stino was a sensitive boy and even oblivious Spence asked Ashlee what was wrong. Ally left her aunt's arms and climbed in Ashlee's and kept sprinkling her mommy's face with damp kisses. When Cat finally rolled out of bed Ava dressed the children to play in the backyard. The fact that Ashlee allowed them out so early was a sharp indicator that something was wrong. Waiting until everyone was outside Clarissa followed Ashlee into her room "What's wrong?" the teen asked watching her sister closely. Ashlee never got upset and she most certainly never dropped the f bomb especially when the kids were around. This was something huge. "You can talk to me Ash. I may not be able to help but at least I can listen. I promise I won't tell mom or Doris if you don't want me to"

Shaking her head and wiping her face Ashlee turned away "Its nothing. Don't worry about it" Ashlee sighed moving towards her bathroom.

"Please Ash you always help and listen to me I just want to be able to help you too. I promise I'll listen and I won't judge you. You're my big sister I can't stand to see you upset. Let me at least try to help" Breaking down Ashlee burst out crying softly. "it's okay Ash. I promise it's okay" Clarissa said softly as her sister wept onto her shoulder. Ashlee had almost pulled herself together when Ava came inside the room and tapped on Clarissa's arm.

"Clarissa could you watch the kids for a few minutes please?" Turning her sister towards her sister in law Clarissa had to wipe her face of her own tears before she faced the four children. Cat, Spence, and Ally were running all across the yard as Thomas chased after them. Only Stino came up to her as she sat on the porch and pulled himself into her lap. Leaning back and putting his head on her shoulder Stino whispered "Why was mommy yelling?"

"I don't know Bud but I promise that everything's going to be okay"

"You promise" Stino asked putting his forehead to hers.

"I promise kiddo" Clarissa said as she added a kiss hoping that she wasn't lying to the boy.

"Ash"

"No Ava. No he can't have our son. He can't just decide that after seven years he wants to be Stino's father. It doesn't work like that. I'll be damned if I just hand over my son to him or anyone else."

"Ash"

"I will see him in court. I will see him in fucking hell before"

"Ashl! Please could you calm down"

"I will not calm down. How can you be so fucking calm? This bastard is asking for custody of our son and you're acting like"

"He's not asking for custody. He isn't even asking for visitation Ash. He only wants to spend more time with him. He is his fath"

"Don't you even finish that sentence! Don't you dare even finish that word. Raphael Rivera is nothing but Stino's sperm donor! That's it. That's what he signed legal documents to be. I'm so glad that we drew up those papers. 'You can trust me' my ass! If he wants to fight this in court he can bring it on! We will"

"Ashlee Jesus. Would you calm down. He hasn't said anything about court or custody. He just wants to get to know Stino better"

"He's his uncle he knows him as much as he needs to. And why doesn't he want to get to know the rest of the kids if that's all he wants? I still can't believe that you're falling for this shit. I can't believe that you're even entertaining this nonsense."

"We knew that sooner or later the kids would want to know who their real"

"Real? What the hell is that supposed to mean 'real'. I am as much his mother as you are. I love that boy more than my own life I will not have you or anyone else telling me that I'm not his real mother. How dare you" Ashlee yelled turning to leave the room before her wife pulled her back. "Leave me the hell alone. If that's how you feel then you can go fuck yourself" Ashlee screeched out as her throat tightened with tears and anguish.

Holding Ashlee close and kissing her face even as she attempted to pull away Ava whispered in her wife's ears "Baby you know that I know how wonderful of a mother you are to all our children. I would never ever think of you as anything less than his real mother. That is not what I meant and I never would say anything like that. Please tell me that you know that." Waiting on Ashlee's nodding head Ava continued "I am only saying that sooner or later he and the babies are going to want to know their biological donors."

"No, No!" Ashlee wailed from the deepest parts of herself in fear and panic. "Ava no please. Don't let him take my baby from me please. Ava please please" Ashle cried out over and over until she fell asleep still leaking tears.


	9. Chapter 9

Waking up with her limbs tangled up in Natalia's Olivia thought it best that they get off the sofa before the girls got home and Emma threatened to die of embarrassment. Her middle daughter had informed them in no uncertain terms that if she ever walked in on them engaged in adult acts like her girlfriend had on her parents she'd poke her eyes out and burn down the house. Olivia tended to believe that her daughter was just being dramatic but it wouldn't do to test that because although Natalia's influence had done much to temper the younger Spencer she was still a Spencer and prone to hasty reactions. Just recently Emma had gotten upset with neighborhood boy that had made his approval of Clarissa's form a bit too vigorously and Emma had used a basketball to the groin to make her displeasure noted. Olivia, of course had been secretly proud, had stood behind Natalia as she gave an in depth lecture on the appropriateness of aggression trying her best to keep the grin off her face. Every once in a while Natalia had turned around just to make sure Olivia kept her stern face on or else. Olivia had already spent one night sleeping on the sofa when she'd high fived Clarissa after the girl slapped a boy who pushed her down and Olivia wasn't anxious for another one. "Baby? Baby?" Olivia tried but Natalia was dead to the world so she did the one thing that was always sure to get the woman up, if not piss her off "Fancy NO!" The other woman got up so fast Olivia flipped and fell off the sofa onto her ass. Looking around and seeing that her daughter was no where around Natalia immediately turned her gaze on her laughing wife.

"What the hell Olivia?"

"I kept trying to get you up" trying to catch her breath as her wife stood over her with her hands on her hips "we have to get up the kids are going to be coming back soon" she tried hoping the other woman would cut her a bit of slack.

"Yeah yeah and that's why you're laughing so hard you're snorting I guess?"

"I do not snort!" Olivia tried to say with a straight face in between giggles. "Spencers have a genetic predisposition against snorting and snoring"

"You all have a predisposition for something starting with an S but I don't want to give the swear jar any of my money" laughed shaking her head and walked away and ignored her wife when she heard "Aren't you going to help me up?" "I didn't put you down there" she said over her shoulder leaving Olivia to gather their clothing and straighten the living room. By the time the other woman had cleaned up and shut the home for the night Emma and Francesca were back from their night out. There were sounds of bumping and laughter and was about to go downstairs to join her family when her cellphone rang. Looking at the caller she immediately smiled and answered warmly with "Baby? How are you? I miss you so much sweetie." It was almost an hour later when Olivia made it up to bed and spotted Natalia wiping tears from her eyes. Seeing tears on her wife's face was always accompanied by her body filling with tension and her stomach tightening. Many years ago Olivia had promised herself keep tears and sadness as far away from the other woman as possible. The idea that she'd broken her promise made her heart break.

"Baby what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Olivia said as she went to sit by Natalia's side but before Natalia could respond their bedroom door was flung open by their youngest child and her sister quickly followed. "What did I tell you both about coming in here without waiting for permission" Olivia yelled. Her worry about Natalia quickly fueled her anger. "When our door is closed that means that"

"Its not like you two were doing anything. You just got up here jeez" Emma said not quite under her breath. Olivia and Natalia were very well versed with the teenager's sarcastic remarks and Olivia was generally better at responding without getting upset but tonight she wasn't in the mood especially if her wife was up here crying while she was goofing around downstairs with the children.

"What we were doing is beside the point Emma and because you can't seem to take this seriously you and your sister will be spending the rest of the weekend cleaning up the pantry and helping your mother get the house ready for winter"

"But mommy" Francesca started. "That's completely and totally unfair. I do have a life you know" Emma added.

"And if you want to get back to your life sometime this month I suggest you change your tone and kiss your ma good night before I add another weekend to it." Olivia finished. She was overreacting she knew but at the moment it was more important to keep Emma in check than to be fair. "So unless either of you have something to add its time for bed" and then she walked into the bathroom to cool off. She knew that Natalia would be calming her upset children during the break.

"Ma she is being totally unreasonable" Emma scowled. "We just wanted to come and say goodnight and now I'm screwed out of my weekend. Its not fair" Her face starting to look even more like her mother as she wore a pissed off expression.

"Mama I wanted to go to the park with Shana and her mom. You said I could remember?" Francesca whispered with tears filling her eyes.

Getting up from bed and hugging and kissing both girls Natalia took a deep breathe and tried to calm both children. "Listen you both know the rules and you should know better than to get into it with your mom Emma when she's upset. I've told you over and over again to think about what you're about to say. I'm sorry about your plans baby. Now you two go on to bed and I want you to think hard about how you could have handled this differently Em" Kissing them again Natalia watched the door waiting on a hopefully calmer Olivia to reemerge. After about twenty minutes Olivia walked through the door as a cloud of steam seeped in behind her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I hate being a hard ass but she has got to learn when she can be a smart ass and when she can't" Olivia reasoned climbing into bed and pulling the other woman close to her.

Looking up at Olivia Natalia explained "I told her that she could have handled the situation different" and looked at her wife with a soft smile.

"And so could I? Is that what you are trying to say?"

"I'm saying that what happened didn't need to have. She shouldn't have made that remark but you"

"I shouldn't have said anything especially when I was already upset about something else" Olivia reasoned as her face darkened. "I totally overreacted and was a complete jerk."

"Baby you're a parent its in the job description." Natalia said with a soft kiss trying to lighten her wife's expression and heart. "I do need help tomorrow morning and some of the afternoon but I was thinking maybe they could have the rest of the day off along with Sunday?"

"Yes. Thank you. I'm sorry but when I saw you crying and they just barged in here"

"About that. I wasn't upset. I was crying because I was so happy that Rafe called with the flight number. I told you that he was worried he wouldn't be able to come but he was able to get a definite date. I'm sorry that I made you worry sweetheart"

"That's great. I know that Fancy and Emma are going to be ecstatic to see him" Olivia smiled as she twisted their bodies so that she was leaning above the Latina. "And since we weren't doing anything when the kids so kindly interrupted us I think we'd better make up for lost time"

Breakfast was a quiet and sullen affair. Natalia did her best to bring some cheer to the table but Emma refused to respond with more than one word at a time to any question specifically directed towards her. Francesca was a bit better and once even broke out into a full smile but a sharp look from her sister wiped it cleanly off her face. "Okay girls once you're done with breakfast wash the dishes and meet me in the pantry and we can start with the clean up" she said as she was leaving the table.

"Wait" Olivia called out to the retreating backs. "First I want to say that I overreacted on your punishments. You shouldn't have come in your ma's and my bedroom without permission and you shouldn't have made that offhanded remark Emma but your ma and I decided that cleaning up until two this afternoon would be enough of a punishment" she said looking mainly towards the oldest girl. She and Natalia never wanted to be as punitive and hard as their own parents had been. It was important to them both that their children feel comfortable coming to them even when they did something wrong. "So are you two okay with that or do you want to"

"No! no, I'm okay with that mommy" Francesca called out laughing wrapping Olivia in a tight hug and running after her smiling ma.

Emma was going to be a harder nut to crack and she was half sure that the girl wouldn't say anything at all. It wasn't often but when the teenager got into a mood it seemed like only time and Natalia or Clarissa were able to pull her out. And since her ma was putting her to work and Olivia had stopped her from spending time with girlfriend Olivia was expecting a long tense weekend. She was completely surprised when Emma wrapped her arms around her from behind as she made her way towards her office and she heard a mumbled "I'm sorry mom" before the girl retreated. There were miracles. Several hours and piles of paperwork later Natalia stood in her doorway with a huge grin on her face. "Something tells me I'm about to get lucky"

"Could you please get your mind out of the gutter for one minute"

"But I that's where my best thoughts come from" Olivia grinned.

"Hush. I got a job offer. Someone wants me!" Natalia jumped up and down before Olivia took her in her arms and kissed her soundly.

"Someone always wants you baby. You should know that" Olivia teased. Since Natalia's graduation she had handed, faxed, emailed, and posted thousands of resumes wherever she thought a social worker might be wanted to needed but she had only gotten a few call backs and even fewer interviews. They didn't need the money and Olivia was secretly hoping the woman might come back to the Beacon but she knew Natalia's ego was more than a little smarting from the perceived rejection. It was awesome that she'd gotten an offer regardless of what the job was. "I'm proud of you baby. I knew you'd get something. Anybody would be lucky to have you working for them." She almost missed the last part of Natalia's sentence. "Where did you say you were going to be working?" So maybe anywhere was a bit of an overstatement Olivia thought to herself.

"The Stevens Center downtown. It's a great opportunity. They have"

"Wait don't they work with convicts and parolees?"

"Yes, they do. That's what my position would be I would"

Not needing to hear anymore Olivia let go of her wife and turned to walk away and pace the office. "Oh hell no! There is no way I'm going to let my wife work with"

"Let? Olivia you didn't actually say let as if you get to decide what jobs I can and cannot do"

"You know what normally I would support whatever decision you'd make but there absolutely no way on God's green earth that I am going to allow my wife to work with fucking convicts. They could be rapists and serial killers for all you'd know Natalia"

"Olivia"

"No. No absolutely not. How can you even consider doing something like that. There are thousands of places that you could help others."

"Hundreds of places didn't call me back this place did" Natalia said as her voice rose. She was trying her best to be calm but sometimes even she could be pushed too far and it was usually her wife that did it.

"No. How do you expect me to feel when you tell me that everyday you will be surrounded by people that went to prison for God knows what"

"My son went to prison Olivia. Is that how you feel about him too?"

"Don't do that. Don't make this about something its not. Can you imagine how it would it would kill no absolutely destroy me to tell our children that something happened to you? Something that would have never happened if you hadn't been working at that place? Don't do this to me. Don't make me worry every time you walk out the door to go to work that I'm going to loose you. Please don't" Olivia started to cry as she felt her body start to shake.

"Baby" Natalia gasped as she held her wife tight. "Okay. Okay I won't take the job. I'm sorry didn't think about what that mean for you and the kids. I won't take the job sweetheart please don't cry." By now her own tears were threatening to spill.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to be a bitch or a control freak I just can't bare the idea of loosing you because of anything especially not because of this"

"I know sweetie. I'm not going to take it. I swear" In her head she knew that Olivia was asking wasn't unreasonable. Of course she would never want to put herself in the position of danger but it still didn't stop the slight ache in her heart. Of all the jobs she'd applied for this was the one that she was most interested in and felt that she could offer the most of herself. There were many lonely days and nights when were wondered what in the world was going to happen to her son once he returned from his prison term. Where would he work? How would people treat him? There were several rough patches but in the end Rafe had used the experience to make himself a better man. All she wanted to do was help other people were maybe weren't as fortunate to make their lives a bit better. She wanted them to know that someone cared and someone wouldn't judge them solely on their worst acts. But it wasn't going to happen because her family's peace of mind was more important. Damn she thought softly in the farthest corner of her mind as she wiped away her wife's tears.

"Mama can I go with Shana and her mom please" Francesca asked after knocking at her parents bedroom door and waiting for the required enter. "I finished all my choirs"

"I can have Clarissa drive her over there if you want. Ashlee let her hold the car to take us to the mall" Emma added as she tickled her sister.

"Sure just make sure to mind your manners Fancy" Olivia said from her place in bed. "You too Bean" she added as the two walked out the door.

"I'm always good just ask Rissa"

Olivia was too shocked to even respond and almost choked to death on her tea. However Natalia didn't find the teen as amusing. "There are still areas of the house that need cleaning Emma just remember that the next time you make a remark like that"

"Sorry ma" But neither Natalia or Olivia thought she was sorry in the least. They also had to hold back laughter as Francesca looked up at her sister in confusion as she asked softly what the problem was. "Don't worry Fancy Pancy you'll understand when you get older" as she ran her hand through the girl's brown hair.

"I swear that girl is trying to turn my hair greyer than it already is and its all your fault"

"How in the world is that my fault"

"Because you Mrs Olivia Spencer-Rivera are a bad influence"

"And if anyone would know"

"Hush it"


	10. Chapter 10

It was almost twelve am by the time Doris took her rams from around her wife to look at the clock beside their bed. "What time did you say Clarissa was supposed to be coming home?" and heard Blake respond that the girl would be staying with her sister for the night. It was almost an hour later before they were able to have any more intelligent conversation. Making love to her wife was absolutely the last thing that Doris thought would be happening tonight especially when she spotted that hickey below her left ear. They had not had sex in more than a month but Doris knew that Blake would ferret out that imperfection in half a minute flat once they undressed. It was the first time that Blake had ever consistently denied her for more than a week. At first Doris would wrack her brain trying to spot out what she'd done wrong. What she'd forgotten or said so wrong that Blake didn't want to make love to her any more. But it was more than a little confusing because there was not a corresponding distance from Blake. She still kissed her just as enthusiastically as before. They still spent several minutes making out before falling asleep each night but no matter how caught up or heated it became Blake always turned away and fell asleep with Doris' arms wrapped around her. It hurt so bad. There were several nights she'd wait until she was assured that Blake was soundly asleep before she would crawl out of bed to cry softly in the bathroom. So many nights filled with lonely tears. "Blake?"

"Yes baby?"

"Not that I'm complaining especially after so long without but why tonight? Why did you finally?" Doris asked unable to continue. There were so many thoughts swirling around her head that she didn't even know how to put them into words. "Its just that for the past few weeks" Turning around to turn on the lights Blake sat up and moved away from Doris so that they could finally have the conversation she'd been putting off for way too long. But Doris misunderstood her intention and pulled the other woman tighter towards her. "No don't be angry baby. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry" she whispered with tears filling her eyes.

Taking the other woman in her arms Blake kissed Doris' head and then cradled her face in her hands. "Baby I'm not upset I promise. I just well I just have to tell you a few things that I should have a long time ago. I just wanted to give you some space in case" This could all blow up in her face she suddenly thought. After hearing what she had to say Doris could very well storm out the room and out of the house and into the night.

"In case what?"

"In case you decide you don't want to be here anymore. In case you decide to walk away" Blake sighed fear flooding her face and making her milking complexion even more pale.

"I'm not going anywhere. Baby you came in and saw a hickey on my neck and you didn't walk out the door so unless you have something to top that I'm staying put for the rest of my life sweetheart"

Taking a minute to calm herself Blake took her wife's hands in her own and cleared her mind as she spilled her heart to her love. "I know you probably thought I wasn't making love to you because you did something wrong or I was upset but that wasn't it at all. I" making a deep sigh and closing her burning eyes she continued "I thought I was sick. I wasn't feeling well. I was tired all the time and constantly exhausted so I went to the doctors and had some tests done"

"Oh my God. What's wrong. Jesus Christ what's wrong baby? Please tell me. Oh God what's wrong" Doris began to cry and Blake could feel the tension rolling off of the other woman's body as she began to move as if to get up out the bed. "Oh God. We have to go to the hospital. I'll call"

Snatching the other woman down and back on the bed Blake tried to calm her wife "Doris I'm fine. Well I'm not fine I do have Addison's Disease but as long as I"

"ADDISON"S Oh my God oh SHIT. JESUS JESUS!" Doris kept shouting as she paced around the room.

She tried to call out several times but Doris was lost in her own dark imagination so Blake did the only thing she could think of she flipped her onto the ground as she'd learned in an long ago self defense class. "Now settle down" She hissed out "Are you going to listen to me or not? So calm down and listen to me. I have Addison's yes but as long as I limit my stress and take a small pill everyday I'll be fine. I promise. Baby I will be fine"

"You're not dying?"

"No I'm not sweetie"

"It would kill me if you left me" Doris whispered into Blake's hair as the other woman leaned over her and hugged her tight.

"Baby I am never leaving you if I can help it"

They spent several long minutes holding each other tight and kissing each other. When they finally made it to the bed and Doris had gotten reasonably calm she began to think more about the situation. Trying to put ease Doris did her best to keep her voice calm. "Why didn't you tell me? You shouldn't have had to go through this all alone. I would have been there for you"

"I know I just didn't want to worry you until I knew for sure there was something to worry about"

"But I did worry but instead of worrying about your health I was worried that you had fallen out of love with me and started having feelings for"

"For who?"

"Rich?"

"Ambassador Richard Kenny"

"Rich? The guy comb over for his comb over. Tell me you did not think that I would ever be interested in him. Jesus I'd like to think that I have better taste than that" Blake laughed trying to calm her wife.

"Well I just knew that you didn't seem very interested in me anymore and every time I looked around you were on the phone with him. You've gone to see the guy more than a couple of times at his high rise penthouse overlooking Central Park. I didn't know I just kept wondering what was wrong and why you wouldn't at least tell me something. Anything."

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you Doris. I swear that I wasn't trying to push you away. I honestly thought that it was for the best to wait until I had some idea of what was going on. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh baby there's nothing to forgive but please just remember that we're a team. If you have something bothering you you have to talk to me. Remember that's what we promised each other when I was in therapy. I want to be the person that's there for you Blake. I want to be the one that you can turn to when you're in trouble. Please let me be there for you baby"

At Company eating breakfast Doris went over the brochures and leaflets that Blake had brought home from the doctors. When she read that JFK had the same condition she looked up at Blake with her eyes wide and shock written on her face. Oh my God she's going to have a tank head Doris thought to herself as she looked at her wife laughing. "That was the first thing I thought too when I realized that Kennedy had it too but Rick said that the new medicine doesn't give that side effect anymore."

"I would still love you"

"Yeah yeah" Blake laughed kicking her spouse lightly under the booth. "So now that we've eaten and are relatively calm I want to hear about this incident with you assistant"

"Now?" Doris said with fear looking around the room.

"Yes this way you can be sure I won't haul off and take a swing at you" Blake reasoned.

"Yeah but what about you hauling off and decking Lacy?" Of the two situations this one was the most likely outcome Doris knew and was more than a little worried for the young woman.

"Talk" Blake ground out without a hint of teasing in her voice or on her face. Listening to her wife's detailed explanation Blake was shocked. Of course she'd known that her wife was attractive and had known that as a professor she would attract a sizable following. However the other woman was astounded that some of the women in her class were as blatant as Doris was describing. Maybe a trip down to the campus was in order after all.

"Blake no. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. No one else makes me feel like you do. I am more than satisfied with you"

"Only satisfied?" Blake teased still more than a bit upset by the new found knowledge. "I must not be doing a very good job"

Leaning over and whispering in her wife's ear Doris added "Completely, soulfully, and bodily amazed at my luck at marrying someone as sexy and hot as yourself"

"A little bit better"

"Baby?"

"I'm kidding but I still want to meet this Lacy and have a discussion with her about proper student teacher relations"

"Blake"

"I'm not going to touch the" taking a steadying breath "young lady I just want to talk to her. Fifteen minutes in your office. No violence no shouting and no scene"

"Blake I don't think that's a good idea"

Blake responded with a raised voice "She put a hickey on your neck and I'm not going to just let that slide" stopping to eyeball the other patrons she continued when they turned back to their own tables "I just want to talk to her Doris I promise. Fifteen minutes tops" They were walking through the farmers market when she heard her wife speaking heatedly with someone on the phone. She figured it wasn't anything too taxing until she saw Doris's red face and a little vein sticking up in the middle of her forehead. Of shit. Houston we have a problem. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"Hold on sweetie Blake and I will be out to the house in a couple of minutes. Just hang on until we get there. I promise we will sort all this out when we get there. Love you baby" Doris said as she ended her call. "Shit!"

"Baby what's wrong?" Blake said her stomach tightening.

"Nothing. You can't be stressed. I'll take you home before I go over to"

"Screw that tell me what's going on?"

"Its Ashlee. She said that Rafe has come sniffing around Stino and wants to be a father all of sudden"

"Shit"

"My thoughts exactly"

By the time they were at Ashlee's Blake's mind was filled with the absolute worst possibilities. Part of the family in Illinois and Stino far away in Georgia. Doris kept reviewing all the family laws she had ever known vowing to do her best to keep her daughter's family safe. As the door opened Ashlee flung herself into her mother's waiting arms. "Momma I'm scared" Both Blake and Doris knew that it would be impossible to get anything out of the traumatized woman at the moment. They could hear the children's voices echoing throughout the house and it was punctuated by sharp barks by the "walking slobber machine" as Emma dubbed Thomas. It took five minutes just to get Ashlee to breath deeply enough that Blake didn't fear for her passing out and Blake could tell just from Doris' compressed lips that she was seconds away from blowing up at any moment. "Sweetheart why don't you tell us what's going on? Where is"

"Where the fuck is Ava? How dare she leave you alone like this with the children and the dog running"

"She's in the room with them mom. She's trying to arrange for a sitter so she can be in here while we talk about"

"Mom and Natalia are on their way over. I've called Emma and Clarissa to come back early so that they can watch the kids."

"What the hell is going on? Why the hell has Rafe decided all of a sudden to"

"Could we please just calm down and discuss this rationally. I don't want anyone to say something that might upset Nat"

"I don't give a fuck about Natalia's feelings if she's supporting Rafe in this nonsense" Doris screamed as her face became bright red with anger and frustration.

"Mom"

"Doris"

"Mama" "Gandma" Filled the air before Doris could vent her anger even more freely. For the next several minutes Blake and Doris tried to keep their mind on what their grandchildren were saying but when the front door opened and Natalia and Olivia came inside it became almost impossible for Doris to keep her rage from the youngest members of her family.

"Why don't I take the kids to the room and get them to sleep" Ava reasoned trying to subtly keep Ashlee's tears from their children. She knew that as soon as the door closed the tentative cease fire that she and Blake had tried to establish was going to be blasted to hell. And once she heard Doris' opening salvo she only prayed that the teens would get home as soon as possible so that they could finally work this out.


	11. Chapter 11

Francesca came back home with considerably more dirt on her clothes and face than she'd left home with and there was evidence of lunch on her shoes and in her hair. Natalia took the girl up the stairs to bathe as Olivia's cell phone went off. This had better not be work or Emma begging for more cash Olivia said to herself as she answered the call without looking at the phone's screen. After she heard her grandchildren screaming in the background she relaxed but once she heard the strained tone in her eldest child's voice she immediately filled with tension. Her mind's first instinct was to go over all the horrible events that could possibly destroy the happiness that she and her daughter had found. "What's wrong baby?" Ava had not said much other than she needed both her and Natalia to come to their house as soon as possible. "Ava talk to me. What's wrong? What's going on" But the younger Spencer kept having to split her attention between her mother and the children. It wouldn't take more than ten minutes to drive to the seven bedroom house but during that drive all these worsening scenarios kept playing in her head.

"Olivia you don't know what's wrong so just wait until we get there before you start stressing out." Natalia said as she held Olivia's free hand.

"I don't think that they are calling to say they've hit the lottery Natalia" Olivia groused and then accidentally looked up into her daughter's open eyes and saw her shutter. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm being such a…butthead. I'm sorry honey"

"Mom butthead isn't a nice word"

"You're right baby I'm going to try to not use this that word again. Okay?"

"Okay but don't be a meanie to mama either"

Hearing her youngest daughter chastising her about her the same things that she'd just talked to Emma about earlier that day did nothing to improve Olivia's mood but she conceded that if anyone was going to get through to her about not being a butthead it was probably one of her children. "Your right baby. I'm sorry Natalia for being sarcastic and I'm sorry Francesca for having a poor attitude" she apologized as dropped Francesca back off at Frank's for a few hours. This did not seem like a good time to bring the girl over for a friendly visit with the family. Promising to pick her up on their way back home each of her mother's bent over to give the girl a kiss but as Olivia was pulling away she heard a softly whispered "Remember don't be a butthead to ma" and the girl was off. The moment they walked into the house it was like a cold bucket of water was thrown on her. Her daughter's family and her two best friends were standing in the living room and it felt as if she were walking into a boardroom after a hostile takeover. What the fuck? As Olivia stepped through the door and waited for Ava to return back to the room she couldn't help but feel deeply hurt at all the hard stares thrown her way by so called best friends and close family. "What's wrong baby?" she asked again as she took Ava in her arms. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she heard dark rage spew from Doris' mouth.

"Don't you dare lie and act like you don't know exactly what the hell is going on here Olivia" okay this must be serious because Doris only used her first name when she was completely pissed.

"Listen"

"No you listen I don't know what the hell the three of you were planning but"

"Would someone mind telling me what the hell is going on? I mean since obviously I'm worse than fucking Hitler it ought to be obvious what I did wrong but sorry I didn't get the memo"

Natalia asked "Olivia please"

"Please what? Aren't I allowed to even hear the fucking charges?"

"Why don't we all just calm down and keep the cursing to a minimum since the babies are sleeping in the next room. And that means you Doris" Blake warned

"Ava could you tell your mom and I what's going on?"

"You should know what's wrong better than anyone. You probably pushed Rafe up to this"

Stepping in between Doris and Natalia Ava pushed her mother in law away from stepmother "Doris stop we are not here to fight so if you can't calm down I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Now we are going to talk rationally or everyone is going to get the hell out" Ava warned.

Ignoring Doris for the moment Natalia went up to a weeping Ashlee and tried to get some straight answers "Ashlee please talk to me and tell me what's going on and what does Rafe have to do with this?"

To Ashlee Natalia had always been the perfect mother. When she was still a lost twenty year old wondering why her mother didn't love her she would imagine that the young Latina was her own mother. She would look at how hard the other woman tired to be there for Rafe when her own mother didn't seem to even have the time to even have a conversation with her. If she ever found out that Natalia had talked Rafe into trying to steal Stino from her it would break her heart worse than it had ever been broken. "Rafe wants to take Stino from us"

"What?" Olivia yelled jumping up coming to Ashlee's side immediately. "What did you say?"

"You heard what she said Olivia and please don't act like you didn't know about this all along."

"I. Mean. It. If you continue to talk to my mother and Natalia this way you are leaving my home. I'm not joking with you"

"Calm down both of you" Blake warned. "We are here to figure things out not to tear this family apart so Doris calm down"

Ignoring everyone else around her Natalia got down on her knees and looked up into Ashlee's eyes. "Ashlee please tell me what's going on? Why would you think that Rafe is coming here to take Augustino from you and Ava? If he was planning something like that he would have told me. Rafe would never hurt someone like that especially not you and Ava "

"Face it your son has been doing a lot of things that you didn't think he would do. Hell didn't he shoot"

"Get the hell out right now!" Ava yelled walking towards the front door and swinging it open. "You get the hell out of my home and don't"

"Why don't you just shut the fuck up Doris. I am so fucking tired of hearing your voice and if you ever talk to my wife"

"Why don't you make me Olivia!"

Shocked Blake tried her best to calm her daughter in law down "Ava just stop please"

"Doris you do not get to use this to beat up on my mom and"

"She's sorry Ava please. She's going to sit down and shut the fuck up or I will be kicking her out myself" Blake threatened but neither Ashlee or Natalia seemed to react at all to Doris' hate or Ava's threats. There were more important things on their minds at the moment. Namely the safety of their children.

"Ava is this true did Rafe tell you that he was coming to take Stino from you? He said that to you?"

"No he didn't"

"You know what Ava if you want to sit here and imagine it all away be my guest. If you want to act like a jackass and depend on him to be reasonable about our son's future then that's your right. But I will not allow him or anyone else threaten this family. So if you want to act so above reproach fine but DO NOT stand in my way. I will protect my son with my life. If any one of you go against me in this then I can promise you will never see any of my children ever again!" Turning around and leaving the room she was gone a few seconds before she reemerged holding Ally and Cat in her arms as a sleepy Stino and Spencer followed behind. "Come on kids we are going to get out of the house for a while"

"Mommy can abuela come with us?" Stino asked moving towards his favorite grandmother.

"No Stino you can spend time with your abuela another time baby but right now"

"But I wanna go to the farm tonight mommy" Stino said as he hugged Natalia.

"I said no and that's what I mean Augustino Spencer now come with me right now." Ashlee said trying her best to control both her rage and her tears. Looking into Natalia's eyes she watched as the older woman whispered some words into each of the children's ears and kissed them goodnight. Even Ally moved to get out of her arms to get to Natalia. All of the adults and Stino were on the verge of bursting out in tears Ashlee ushered the children towards the car without another word.

"What the HELL is wrong with you people! You were supposed to be here to calm my wife down not drive her and our children out of our FUCKING HOME!" Ava bellowed rounding on all the women in her house. "Obviously when I called our parents looking for support I should have known better. Obviously I need to have my head examined. Obviously I have lost touch with reality no wonder my wife ran out of here like her ass was on fire. "Fuck this" Ava spat out finally walking towards the door.

Pulling her daughter back Olivia begged "Ava please calm down"

"I was calm. I was cool. I was ice mother. But you all have destroyed that so now I'm going to do my best to try and convince Ashlee not to leave me and run off to Mexico with the kids. So if you all will excuse me I need to try and save my marriage" but before she stormed off Natalia caught her by the arm and whispered a few words in her ear and kissed her forehead before she left.

"Okay now that you have managed to run both of our daughters from their own house!"

"Stop it! Just both of you shut the fuck up! This is not about which one of you is the baddest bitch or has the biggest balls. These are our children's lives so if you two can't offer some Helpful commentary then both of you just get the hell out and let Blake and me figure this out." Everyone's eyebrows were up to their hairlines listening to meek and mild Natalia slap down the two hardest women in Illinois. Blake was suddenly very glad that she had never gotten on the Latina's bad side. "So why don't we make a phone call to Rafe and get some answers" No one said anything the three women just followed behind Natalia and Blake figured neither Olivia nor Doris wanted to test the waters now that Natalia was relatively calm.


	12. Chapter 12

The thirty minute car drive to drop Francesca off at her friend had been eerily silent once the nine year old started playing with her DSL. Most times Emma had to keep redirecting Clarissa's attention back to the road because the teen would get so involved in their conversation that she would start to veer and weave. This time however Clarissa not only stayed firmly in her lane but she hardly said more than three words during the entire trip. Clarissa was not known for her pregnant silence and even when she had laryngitis for three days she was still made her voice known. Giving her sister a kiss as the door flew open Emma tried to whatever was bothering the other woman out in the open. It was always better to be as direct as possible with her love Emma had discovered after miscommunications had led to a few arguments. "So what's wrong?" But after repeating herself twice and still not even the slightest reaction Emma decided to do the one thing that she knew would drive her girlfriend apeshit. She changed the song on the ipod and the as soon as Clarissa got used to that one she changed it again and purposely went to a song she knew Clarissa loved. She let the song play a good minute before she skipped again. One, two, three Emma counted silently to herself until "Do you mind finding a song and sticking to it? Jesus I thought I was the one with ADD" It was kind of scary how well she knew her girlfriend.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong instead"

"Other than you screwing with my ipod?"

"Yes other than that" Emma waited several seconds and when nothing was revealed she reached over to take stir the wheel to towards a side street.

"What the fuck Emma I'm trying to fucking drive here"

"We aren't going anywhere until you tell me what the problem is" Emma said as she took the keys out of the ignition "so I'm what's going on baby?"

"Don't baby me. Jesus have you ever considered that you have issues with control? I mean I was driving and since I didn't do what you wanted you take the freaking wheel and steer us" Clarissa yelled. By this time the girl was facing her passenger completely enraged.

"You're wrong"

"So says the chic that holds me hostage when I don't do exactly what she says" Clarissa huffed turning away in disgust.

"Don't try and make this about something its not. I know you better than you know yourself Rissa and I know that something's up with you. If you had said you didn't want to talk about it right now I would have been cool" Emma lied trying her best to be reasonable.

"You are such a liar. When have you ever ever let that be the end of a conversation"

"Clarissa just tell me what the hell is bothering you so I can fix it!" Emma yelled as she started to get upset as well. Normally anyone who pissed her off immediately felt the brunt of Emma's sarcastic taunts but with Clarissa the anger almost never came. Almost. But whenever the older girl hinted at the possibility that Emma might have some overbearing tendencies she completely flipped. The last thing Emma wanted was to suffocate the girl but sometimes things would be just so much easier if Clarissa would just do things her way.

"Who are you God? I know that you are a Spencer and a Spaulding but not even you can control everything"

Hearing Clarissa's voice level off and return to normal tone Emma leaned over and took Clarissa's hand in her own and kissed it as she told her "Maybe I can't but I can at least listen and be there for you baby. That's what matters most to me anyway"

"I wish you could make everything better baby" Clarissa cried turning completely towards the other girl and kissing her softly as tears fell down her cheeks. In the end she ended up spilling everything she'd heard to her girlfriend. It was true that she felt so much better once it was off her chest. Emma had no more answers than she had as to why Ava and Ashlee might be fighting about some guy. Neither understood what could make the completely unflappable Ashlee Wolf Peralta curse like her mother but it was so much easier sharing the fear between the two.

The time they were at the mall was much calmer and Emma had almost forgotten their family's problems until she spotted Ms Masterly walking towards them. The woman had her face planted in her cell so Emma had high hopes that they would sneak right past without incident but when Clarissa accidentally dropped her bag at Ms Masterly's feet Emma knew her entire day was going to hell. "Excuse us" She said picking up the bag and pulling Clarissa behind her praying that the woman would be quiet for everyone's sake. But of course things never go easy for a Spencer.

"What do we have here. I guess I don't have to ask if you two are on your way to vacation bible school do I. Have your parents ever even taken you to a church ever? Do you know what it is to be a Christian?"

"SO Christian like turning the other cheek or not judging others. That kind of Christian?"

"Emma please lets just" Clarissa tried to whisper pulling her love towards her.

"I shouldn't blame you. I only have to look as far as your parents to see where this influence came"

Getting well into the other woman's personal space Emma spat "Listen Bitch if you ever talk about my parents!"

"Emma stop! Lets just go. Please"

"You are nothing but a hateful and spiteful shrew whose angry because your husband left you for another man you evil bitch but I swear to you if you come near me of Clarissa again I will make you regret it"

"You know nothing about me!"

"Linda have you forgotten already what I am? I'm the evil bastard child of Man Eater Olivia Spencer and Crazy Philip Spaulding and my parents have thousands of people that get paid just to fulfil my every twisted whim. So I know all about you and what you were in Las Vegas before you came here to be Ms Church lady. So unless you want pictures and video posted all over the internet I suggest you walk away and forget you ever knew Clarissa's or my name. I promise you will regret it." Emma said in a completely sweet and reasonable voice. By the time she finished talking Ms Masterly's face had flushed red then become ghostly white. Emma waved goodbye before she pulled Clarissa into a quiet corner in the food court to laugh at destroying their nemesis. "Oh my God did you see her face? I thought she was going to pass out or piss herself right there. Baby she will never come at you again after that" Emma said with mounting glee.

"How could you?" Clarissa asked in amazed wonder.

"How could I not. I will do anything for my family baby. I promised to always protect you and I take my promises seriously" Emma said with a smile as she pulled Clarissa to her body "I know how you can thank me" she whispered. Before she was pushed away roughly. "Rissa?"

"Don't don't use that name on me"

"Honey"

"No I cannot believe you would say all those things. I can't believe that you would threaten her like that"

"She was making your life a living hell Clarissa what the hell did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know but I can tell you what I did not expect. I didn't expect that you would use your parents money to go digging through someone's life. I didn't expect you to get photos and fucking videos for blackmail material" Clarissa said as tears streamed down her face.

"Rissa please"

"I told you not to use that word. You don't get to use that anymore. I don't know who you are Emma but you are not the wonderfully sweet girl I fell in love with" Clarissa spat as she turned away in disgust.

"No! NO! I'm not letting you walk away from me"

"Jesus listen to yourself Emma. You totally embarrassed me and you humiliated Ms Masterly. Just because she says things you don't like it doesn't give you the right to curse her and try to destroy her. Don't you get that?"

"Clarissa I only wanted"

"Yeah that's the problem you only wanted. You only care about what you want Emma."

"That is so not true I love you I would do anything to"

"To control me. How many times have I told you I didn't want to talk about something and you just pick me up and hold me until I talked. How many times have you pulled me down the halls of school if I refused to talk to you. Shit you just pulled us off the fucking freeway just because you couldn't give me a chance to think things over for myself"

"I'm sorry I just"

"You just. I'm sorry Em but I can't do this anymore. I'm not your property and you don't get to control me. I love you but I can't deal with that anymore, and"

"I can change baby. Please I swear I can change"

"Emma you just told a woman you would destroy her because she was giving us a hard time. She's a bitch true but she didn't deserve to have her life put on display for blackmail and if you can't see that what you did was too much then I don't know what to say. I'm" Clarissa finished shaking her head and walking away.

"Baby please. Please" Emma begged on her hands and knees as people watched in fascination from afar. "I'll do whatever you want. I'll get help. Please just don't leave me"

"Em I don't want to hurt you but I can't pretend that I'm okay with how you are treating me and I hate what you did" with a deep sigh the girl turned around to gather her thoughts and then knelt down beside her possible ex and said as calmly as she could "I'm going to need some time to think about this Emma. If you want this to work you are going to have to change and you are going to have to stop trying to control me and everything in our relationship. I am not some blow up doll just for your amusement"

"I know baby I will do whatever you want. Just don't say we are over."

"I need some space Emma. I have to think about this. I don't want to lie to you and say it's going to be okay after a few hours because I honestly don't know if I can get past this. I love you but I'm not going to be with someone who can do this to people and think its okay." with that Clarissa walked out and away from her love and left them both how could everything go horribly wrong so fucking fast.


	13. Chapter 13

Watching Ashlee take their kids out of their home and drive off was the hardest thing that Ava had ever done but she knew that the woman couldn't be in that house another minute and stay sane. For some unexplainable reason her wife was convinced that Rafe wanting to spend time getting to know Stino somehow meant the man wanted to take the boy from them. All three had grown up feeling lost, alone and wondering why their father was no where around. Ava and Ashlee had spent many long nights discussing the things that they didn't want their children to ever experience but for some reason all that went out the window as soon as she considered Rafe's place in their son's life. For Ava it had seems only logical that their children would want relationships with their biological fathers. She had demanded to know her own father even when Olivia had warned that she was the product of rape. Finding her father had been one of the most powerful experiences in her life and she would always treasure the short time they had together. It didn't make her love her mom any less and it didn't make her look at her childhood as anything but a blessing. But for some reason Ashlee had it in her mind that the children having relationships with their fathers would lessen their love for her and Ava. As much as she tried Ava couldn't get her normally level headed wife to relent.

Driving towards place she knew Ashlee and the children would retreat to without even calling Ava promised herself that she would support Ashlee no matter the consequences. Sooner the children would be old enough to ask for their fathers and then they would face this hurdle but until then if Ashlee wasn't ready she would stop pushing. Ashlee had given and sacrificed so much in their relationship that Ava felt it was time she shoulder their burden. It began with her packing up and leaving UCLA behind without a second glance when they were only dating. After they realized that Ava should not carry anymore children she left school to extend their family and during Ava's depression she took care of all three of them without a word of complaint. Time after time Ava could pick out specific instances where Ashlee did any and everything just to keep their family healthy. It was past time that I give as much as I've taken she thought as she walked into the penthouse suite. As she expected all the children were asleep surrounding Ashlee in the master suite. What she didn't know was whether Ashlee wanted her presence there or not. Ava tried to reassure herself that Ashlee had gone to the Beacon because she had known that Ava would look for her there. Or maybe she just came without realizing it? "Knock knock"

"Usually people say that before they come in not afterwards" Ashlee said as she lay back on the bed with an blank expression on her face that Ava couldn't read at all.

"Does that mean I should as the front desk for a rollaway bed?"

"How about a whole new room" but then called out softly "baby" once she saw Ava's face fall. "I was only kidding honey I swear." She would have gotten up and brought Ava to the bed but she was wrapped up in four sleeping children and didn't dare make any sudden moves to wake them. "What took you so long. I was expecting you an hour ago"

Walking towards the bed and kissing each child on the head Ava bent over her wife as best she could and softly filled her mouth with her tongue. "I had to curse out our parents and then I had to pick up some treats for us" as responded as she pulled out a tub of chunky monkey ice cream from a plastic bag.

"Oh God I am so glad I married you" Ashlee said as loudly as she could and pulled Ava into another kiss. "Baby I am so sorry I said all those hurtful things to you. I didn't mean them. Please say that you will forgive me"

"There is nothing to forgive Ash. I am so lucky to have someone so strong and loyal as you. I know that you always have our family's best interests at heart. You never have to apologize for that baby"

"Yes I do. I said some awful and thoughtless things to you when you were just trying to make me calm down. I'm sorry that I jumped all over you"

"You were right"

"Excuse me?"

"You were right. Rafe has no right to expect us to rearrange our entire life just because now he decides that he wants to be a daddy. We won't tell Stino about him until he's old enough to ask us on his own."

"Ava?"

"I've thought about it. There is no reason for us to"

"Ava no you were right. Sooner or later its going to come up and"

"Yes it is but it doesn't have to be a result of Rafe's interference."

"Do you honestly think that Rafe has ill intentions towards Stino or are you just doing this because I'm making such a huge fuss?"

"Ash you have every right to"

"No Ava answer the question. Do you want to drop it because you agree with me or because you just want to stop me from freaking out?"

Crying softly Ava covered her face "I hate seeing you upset Ash and I hate us fighting even more. Maybe I shouldn't have come I just thought that you would forgive me if"

"Ava I told you there is nothing to forgive love and I meant it. I freaked out but I don't want to break up our family over something that has to be done eventually anyway. I don't want to have so much tension between our parents"

"Screw them. I don't care what they think. If they don't like it we can move back to New York or to Paris or wherever you"

"Ava stop okay. I said you were right"

"So what are you saying Ash?"

"Well I'm not saying that I'm willing to let him be a father to our son but I am willing to talk about other options."

"Ash I love you so much baby"

"I know because I love you"

For the next few hours the couple lay in bed suffering the occasional jabs and kicks from their devil spawn as Doris and Olivia were apt to call them. Eventually the difficulties of sleeping with five other people became too hard to surmount and Spence woke up eager to explore not only the suite's entertainment equipment but also the conveniently placed (not so) mini bar as well. By the time his big brother was up Spence had used his ten supervision free minutes to open every juice container in the joint and had somehow pressed in the exact buttons to order "Candy does Dallas Again". Fortunately for everyone he'd gotten bored by the opening credits and had switched the channel to Adult Swim. "Your not supposed to eat candy before breakfast Spence" Stino said as he watched his brother munching on exorbitantly overprices M&M's. Spence was only three but had already gotten his grandmothers' eye roll down pat especially when his older brother fussed. He had found it easier just to ignore Stino until he eventually got caught by an adult. "Spence!" Stino growled in a hushed voice.

Already knowing that the boy couldn't be bought off by sharing the candy from earlier experiences Spence opted for a good distraction to take his brother's rule oriented eyes off him and said sweetly "They have applesauce Stino" and watched as the boy's mouth start to salivate. It was just too easy Spence might have thought had be been old enough to actually consider manipulations but there was still time. "I wanna go home Stino" Spence said to his brother as they lay together on the floor.

"Me too" Stino whispered as he thought back on last night. He and the babies had been fast asleep when their mommy picked them up and announced they were leaving the house. Although the six year old was still very sleepy even he could tell that something was very wrong. Why else would he and his sisters and brother be leaving all grandmothers and mother behind. Hanging on his abuela Stino had begged to spend the night with her and his grandma at the farm and for the first time ever his mommy said no. Not no because he had school tomorrow or no because mama had to go to work early but just flat no. If the little boy had ever considered ranking the loves of his life Natalia would make the top three easily so his mommy denying him time with her broke his heart. Cat of courses never woke up even after they got to the hotel and Spence and Ally fell back to sleep as soon as the car started rolling but Stino stayed up and watched his house getting further and further behind him with growing fear and concern.

"Baby I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier but sometimes when I tell you to do something I need you to do it right then not question me or back talk. Do you understand honey?" He heard his mommy say as they drove in silence.

All that he could say was "I'm sorry" as the tears choked his throat.

"Stino please don't cry. You will see your abuela later I promise. I just. Well I needed to get away for a while because I was feeling a little sad"

This was news. He immediately perked up and pulled himself as close to her as his car seat straps would allow. "Why were you sad mommy?" he wondered. His mommy was never sad.

"Well you know how you sometimes you and your brother and sisters don't like what your mama and I tell you to do? Well sometimes I don't like what my mommy says either" Wow. He knew of course that his parents had mommies but he did not realize they still had to do what they told them. At least they didn't send her to her room he thought. "But just like you stop being mad at me and mama after a bit I'm going to stop being mad at my mommy"

"Do they put you in time out too?" He asked amazed and laughed when his mommy spewed her coffee over the windshield with laughter. Hugging his brother and thinking things over they both jumped up when a soggy diaper was tossed at them from above.

"I wet" Ally explained and then proceeded to lay down and pull her knees behind her ears to get in the proper position for a new one. Spence and Stino looked at each other and then said "Eww" with disgust. Spence was completely hands off when it came to choirs like this. He had no problem with mud or bugs but he drew the line at bodily fluids. Already knowing from previous experiences Spence's contribution to such events Stino blew out a sad breath and got down to work all the while hoping that the girl was finished peeing for the moment.

Ashlee found the three watching a very questionable episode of South Park while they ate hundred of dollars worth of hotel snacks. "Okay what's wrong with this picture?" After sorting out that no one had in fact gotten into any liquor so no trips to the er were necessary Ashlee ordered room service for the rest of the family that had not had M&M's and applesauce for breakfast.

"What do you want to do?" Ava asked as she and Ashlee watched the four children playing in the large hotel bath tub from the tiled floor.

"I don't know. I am so scared of what Rafe wants but I know that sooner or later they are going to want to know the truth so"

Reaching over and rubbing Ashlee's back Ava whispered "But they don't have to know now"

"He wants to be in his life. I don't want him" she said nodding discretely towards Stino "resenting us years from now for taking this chance from him. You're right they have a right to know"

"Yes but they are our kids Ash and no DNA or courts can take that away from us. I promise I will never allow anyone to threaten that. I hope trust me"

Leaning over and kissing Ava softly Ashlee wiped away both their tears and "I'm sorry that I ever made you think that I don't trust you to protect our family" and when she saw Ava nodded she knew just a bit of the hurt she'd caused in angry last night had been eased away. "I'm scared"

"He's not asking for"

"No not that. Of Stino growing up and saying that I'm not his real mom. You and the twins share the same DNA through your Uncle Sam and you grew up with Ally's father but I have absolutely no connection to Stino at all what if" but she couldn't finish it as the tears closed her throat. Turning her head so that the children could not see "what if he"

"Ashlee look at me. Please look at me. He absolutely adores you. He loves you so much it amazes me. He is so much like you Ash. He does not get that sunny disposition and early worm crap from me that's for sure. Honey please don't ever doubt how much he needs you. How much we all need you"


	14. Chapter 14

Still staring dagger at each other as Natalia dialed Rafe's number and put him on speaker phone Olivia heard her blackberry ring. Normally she wouldn't have thought twice about letting it go to voicemail in such a situation but when she noticed it was Emma's special tone she stepped away to take the call. "What's up Em? Now really isn't a good time. How about you call me in a few" but stopped cold when she heard her regularly sarcastic and at times distant teenage daughter utter two words she hadn't said together in almost five years "Mommy please" What in the fucking hell Olivia thought. Of course Emma would need her in exactly the same time her older sister did. Thinking that it was probably a matter of Emma having gone over her limit at the mall Olivia felt a headache creeping behind her eyes. "Em whatever it is I'm sure it'll be fine until I see you at home. Your sister"

"Mommy please. I need you to come get me please" Emma gasped her voice choked with tears.

"Honey what's wrong? Are you and Clarissa alright? Did you two get in an accident?" As soon as those words were out of her mouth the other women in the room disconnected the still ringing phone and hang on Olivia's ever word. "Baby? Are you hurt?"

"Olivia?" both Doris and Natalia asked coming to her side attempting to get close to the phone but Blake didn't even bother to be subtle she just took the phone and after a few quick touches put it on speaker phone. "What's going on and where's Clarissa?" Blake asked.

"She" oh shit! "She left me. Mommy she broke up with me. I need you to come pick me up" Each woman had the exact same expression of "fuck me" on their face, as if they didn't have enough drama for today.

"Olivia go get her" Natalia said rubbing her wife's increasingly tense shoulders.

"But what about?" Olivia asked disturbed by the thought of abandoning one daughter's problems over the others.

"We can handle it. You take care of Emma right now"

Walking towards Doris Blake threw the woman their car keys "You too"

"What?" Doris asked in confusion as the keys slapped her knees.

"Our daughter is out there upset after having broken up with her girlfriend. She needs one of us to calm her down. You do that and I will talk to Rafe and straighten this all out." Blake said as she picked up the fallen keys and kissed her wife on way back towards the house phone.

"Natalia?"

"She's right. We can handle this. You two take care of Clarissa and Emma. Make sure they are alright." As Doris and Olivia walked out the door trying to wrap their minds on all the problems that had suddenly popped up on a supposedly stress free weekend their eyes briefly met. Olivia had almost dismissed the other woman from her mind and was almost buckled in her seat when she heard a light tap in her window. Looking up the last person she expected to see there was her erstwhile bestfriend. "What?"

"Look you know me I don't handle my daughter being in hurt very well. When Ash calls me crying my first thoughts are stop the tears and kill whoever caused them and ask questions later. I'm" sighing and rubbing her face wearily across her face she started again. "Olivia I'm"

"You're a complete dumbass and if think you're getting out of paying for our next lunch by causing a fight you are sadly mistaken" with that Olivia smiled at her friend and peeled out looking to save yet another wayward child. It took only a few minutes to get to the mall but it took double that to get Emma to calm down enough so that she tell her mother where she was. By the time Emma was safely in the car it looked to Olivia as if her usually cocky daughter was a broken woman. Only the death of a favorite cow two years ago came close to how distraught Emma was. The girl threw herself in Olivia's arms and the mother sat in the parking lot for several minutes just whispering soft endearments into her daughter's ears. "Baby it's going to be okay I promise"

To which Emma would weep "I love her mommy. I love her so much." This was the first time that Emma had gotten her heart broken. No one was more surprised than Olivia that her daughter had fallen so hard for the Ms Mahler and ever few months after they joined she kept expecting them to break as very young couple often do. Each month and each year Olivia was astounded that her daughter had found so easily what had taken her over four decades to find. It hurt Olivia because Emma was in pain but unfortunately she didn't think the pain was going to be just forgotten in a few weeks time if they were truly over. Emma and Clarissa's lives were so intertwined that everyone in the family was going to feel this heart ache for sometime. But no matter right now Emma was her priority. "Baby?" She asked again when she finally got the girl on the sofa after running her a hot bath and spooning big bowls of warm apple pie and melting vanilla ice cream. "What happened?"

"I messed up mom" Emma said with a sigh not looking up but just holding the cooling bowl in her hands. They were sitting on the sofa watching Real Housewives of Orange County and Olivia would have poured her baby a glass of red wine complete the break up meal if she didn't think Natalia would kill her. "I messed up so bad"

"Maybe if you give her some time she will cool off honey. Maybe she was just really upset when she broke thing off" the girl still hadn't told her exactly what happened and although she was dying to know she didn't want to start another ten minute crying jag.

"No. she meant it. She hates me. She said that she didn't know who I was. She said she didn't want to be with someone who could do what I did" Hearing those familiar words from the mouth of the one person that she had tried her best to make better than who she used to be Olivia lost her breath. Oh God no. This was not supposed to happen Emma was not supposed to be like me. She's so much like Natalia. Oh God no. I did this. I "I thought I was helping. I just wanted to protect her but I. I hurt her so bad. I just wanted to make it better"

"Baby what did you do?" Olivia asked with terror filling her heart.

Bending her head and hiding her eyes Emma wiped tears from her eyes before speaking softly. "There was someone hurting her. She wanted to take care of it herself but I couldn't stand the thought of this person not paying so I hired someone and got so blackmail material and threatened to expose her if she kept hurting Ris" and then the tears burst threw again as strong as when Clarissa first walked away.

It was almost as if she were looking at a scene from her own life Olivia thought. You think you are helping the one person you love and you hurt them more than you ever dreamed. It was like you were toxic. No. No this is not going to happen to my daughter. It's not. Taking her daughter in her arms and hugging her tight Olivia screamed in her head "You don't get to visit my sins on my daughter you bastard. I changed. I did everything right this time. Emma will not go through the pain that I suffered. Damn you."

Doris had gone to every place that she thought her daughter might be and found her nowhere. There was no way that she was going home to Blake without Clarissa so she just kept driving until Blake called. Shit Doris thought what am I going to tell her. "Hey baby listen I'm sorry but I've been looking for Clarissa but"

"She's here honey so just come back. She wants to get home and get to bed" When she got to the door she found Clarissa laying in her mother's lap asleep and Blake running her fingers through her strawberry blond hair as she spoke to Natalia. Thomas was sleeping by Natalia's feet and was making scratching and light growling sounds in his sleep. When they looked up Blake's face was noticeably less strained than when she'd left almost an hour ago. Shit she was supposed to be staying stress free Doris thought with worry but forced herself to make a smile when Blake smiled up as she approached the sofa. "So what happened?''

"Emma and Clarissa had a major misunderstanding and I think Clarissa may have reacted mainly out of hurt but that's for those two to decide later."

Leaning over and kissing Blake's forehead Doris asked "But what about Rafe?"

Shaking her head Blake sighed "How about we discuss that on the way home. I am so exhausted that I could literally fall asleep any second."

"Oh I'm sorry baby" Doris said with worry. Taking the teen in her arms and carrying her to the car Doris thought back to when she had done this so many years ago for the not only Clarissa but also Ashlee. They were growing up so fast and it broke her heart. Long ago a scoop of ice cream and an extra story solved all of life's problems but now she couldn't save her babies from the years of heartbreak ahead of them. Turning back toward's Natalia as the woman stood in the dark yard Doris was at a loss. In so many ways Natalia was her opposite in temperament and world view and long ago she had looked down on the Latina and naïve and unsophisticated. Now however she worried that the woman would finally wash her hands of her wife's crass and loud best friend. It was not only the strain on her relationship with Blake and Olivia that Doris feared but also she knew the loss of the woman would hit her hard. Often she and Natalia would sit with back as their highly energetic spouses ran wild with the grands and talked. At first it was akward but now she felt lucky to call the woman a good friend and it would her horribly to loose Natalia. "I can take you home" Doris said expecting Natalia to scoff in her face.

"Thank you Doris but I'm going to take Ash's car and drive home" Turning away Doris felt tears prick her eyes and thought of course Natalia was too well mannered to be rude even after everything Doris had said in the house earlier. But Doris stopped cold when she felt warm slim arms wrap around her shoulders. "It's okay Doris I know that you were upset. It's going to take more than you being a little bitchy to stop us from being friends"


	15. Chapter 15

Clarissa drove around and around for what seemed like hours in a complete mental blur. Every since Clarissa had met Emma she'd known that the girl was always going to be a major part of her life. For more than half her life Emma had been her best friend and for the past three years they'd been deeply in love. There was never a doubt in Clarissa's mind that Emma was the person that she was born to spend her life loving but what happened now? There was no way to cut the younger teen out of her life without getting shipped off to one of those expensive boarding schools her parents were always threatening her with. Even then Emma would never be far from her mind or heart. There were times that Clarissa believed that she and the other girl were soul merged especially after making loving almost five months ago. One part of her knew that what she'd threatened was completely disproportionate to Emma's crimes and trusted that Emma would die before she direct her rage at Clarissa. However another part was completely blown away at how driven Emma was to destroy Ms Masterly. Yes the woman was a toad but to ruin her career? To hire people to dig in her past and get pictures and video? If Emma did something like this over a few sarcastic remarks what would she do if someone ever threatened Clarissa? More importantly what wouldn't Emma do and that was the question that left her lost and unwilling to offer reassurance to the one person she loved more than she loved her own life. Somehow Clarissa noticed that she'd gotten back to Ashlee's. There were no cars in the driveway but there were lights on all over the house. She sat in the cooling car for over five minutes before the front door opened wide and her mother stepped onto the porch gazing at her silently. What was she going to tell her parents especially when Clarissa didn't truly know herself what was going on. Clearing her mind she watched her mom walk towards the car and tap lightly on the window.

"Do you want to talk?" Blake asked as she wiped her cool hands across Clarissa's hot brow. The girl looked more stressed than Blake remembered ever seeing her. Clarissa and she shared a very similar temperament and things that couldn't change they generally forgot about and moved past. Blake just hoped that the girl didn't deal with heartbreak as she had at her age and for several decades longer. Not only did she resolve to move past but she vowed to move the fuck through. It did not do to fuck with Blake Mahlers' heart but hopefully Clarissa would be better than her mother Blake prayed silently. "We can talk in the car if you don't want to come in the house" Blake offered.

"Do you know?" of course if she knew there was absolutely no reason to further explain and if she didn't the entire town would soon.

"Yeah Emma called Olivia for a ride about twenty minutes ago" Shit. She had been so angry she hadn't even considered how Emma was supposed to get back home since she'd driven her there. Shit. Now maybe it a moot point as to whether she could forgive Emma. Maybe now Emma wouldn't forgive her. Nodding as tears filled her eyes and dropped onto her pale cheeks Emma opened the driver door and leaned into her mother's waiting arms. "It's going to be okay baby. I promise" but they both knew she was well past the age that her mommy could kiss away her problems. It was a few more minutes before Blake got the girl to consider coming into the house to wait on Doris' to take them both back home. "Honey you would feel better if you went inside to lay down until Doris gets here" the mother tried to reason. It was getting cold and the girl wasn't as light as she looked especially as she leaned down on her.

"But what about Natalia. She must be pissed about this" Clarissa mumbled without lifting her head from her mother's shoulder.

"Baby Nat just wants to make sure that both of you are okay. You don't have to explain anything right now if you don't want to. Just come in because I'm freezing my butt off now. Of at least let me get in the car to sit down" Looking down at her mother's ruined shirt and the makeup she'd smeared over Blake's neck and jaw Clarissa laughed and agreed to relocate to a warmer location for her battered mother.

"It's about time you two came in. It's getting chilly out there" Natalia said as she handed both women a warm mug of a fragrant liquid. "There is some soup in the kitchen do you want any Clarissa? It might make you feel better?" the other girl didn't respond with words she just enveloped the Latina in a tight hug. Sitting next to her mother and across from Natalia as they sat around the table eating soup and sandwiches s Clarissa looked around and asked "Where is everyone?" and watched the two older women share guarded looks. "what's going on? How come the house is so quiet" She knew personally from spending many many nights and weekends at her sisters home that quiet wasn't a word used often to describe the Wolf Peralta home. Looking down she spotted Thomas looking sad and lonely now that no one was harassing or chasing after him. "Where are the monsters"

"There's been a situation but don't worry about it Natalia and I are handling it" Blake said with a forced smile. "You don't have to say anything you know that but if you would like to talk or just let us listen"

"We broke up" Clarissa said with breaking voice.

"But why? You both seemed so happy before. We aren't trying to pry or trying to control your relationship. Its just that"

"She. There was a teacher that was being very mean and disrespectful to me"

Standing up Blake immediately began to shoot off a rapid round of questions "What? Who? When? Why didn't you tell me about this sooner. I'm going to that school Monday and"

"Mom please can you calm down. I thought you wanted to know what happened because I would like to talk about this without worrying if you're going to totally loose it"

"I'm sorry continue honey"

"Well this teacher was really making my life horrible. I hated going to class and I was even having trouble sleeping because I kept worrying about what was going to happen next. I told Emma about it and she kept wanting to confront the woman or get me to tell you and Doris but I refused"

"Honey why wouldn't you come to Doris and I. Did you think that we wouldn't believe you?"

"No mom not at all. I guess I didn't want to cause any problems. I thought that if I made any complaints about it it would get worse."

"No one has the right to embarrass or humiliate you Clarissa. Not even your teacher. If anything your teacher should be the one to lift you up not try to tear you down" Natalia said taking the girl's hand in her own.

Clarissa whispered "That's what Emma kept telling me" as more tears dropped down.

"So what happened? I know my daughter well enough to know that if she knew this was happening she was going to do something. What did she do?"

"She hired someone to get compromising photos and video of her. She threatened to expose her if she didn't back off"

"Jesus" Natalia swore as she did the sign of the cross on herself.

"She is Olivia's daughter" Blake reasoned.

"That's not an excuse to extort someone" Natalia shouted. She and her daughter were going to have a long involved talk sometime very soon once everything settled down.

"This woman was using her position to make my daughter hate going to school so I'm sorry I can't be all that angry about what Emma was doing. I mean its not like she followed through is it? She didn't post everything on Youtube and hand out the link in homeroom."

Listening to her mother and Natalia argue both side Clarissa was able to step back and rationally examine the ins and outs of their argument. She was still upset but she could see Emma's position much more clearly and knew that she'd reacted to rashly. Turning to Natalia she asked "Do you think Em will forgive me? I mean dumped her in the middle of the mall and left her stranded there. What if she won't forgive me? I just couldn't understand how my amazing girlfriend could be such a total manipulative bitch" Clarissa said with increasing worry.

"If there is one thing I know well is Spencers and I can almost guarantee that she will. Just try and explain how confused you were. They don't always think about the ramifications of what they're doing when they go into bitch mode. I know Emma never meant to scare or upset you" When her stepmother showed back up at the house almost an hour later Clarissa was bone weary from the rollercoaster of emotion she'd been on during the day. Laying in her parents backseat close to falling asleep she kept hearing her sister and Ava's name mentioned. "Do you know why Ash was so upset about some guy?" she asked as the car went dead silent. If she had been less dopey from lack of sleep she wouldn't have ever said something like that to her parents and was too far gone to worry about an impeding ass kicking that might be earned from dropping such private information. "She was crying and dropping the f bomb"

"Don't worry about it sweetheart. Your mom and I have it all under control"

"Better or I'll get Emma on him" Clarissa said as she flew back to sleep.

By the time Natalia and Francesca got home both Emma and Olivia were already asleep in bed. Olivia was supposed to have picked up the young girl from her father's after leaving the mall but her mommy felt that Emma was in dire need of one on one quality time. It was way past everyone's bedtime when Francesca climbed up the stairs and slid into her room. After laying a few kiss on the girl's head and whispering a few words in her ear Natalia went to her middle daughter's room. Emma was dead to the world but she could still see visible traces of drying tears. Normally the teen was completely relaxed as she slumbered but tonight her face was drawn and she could hear occasional grinding of teeth. As an adult she knew having a broken heart was all part of growing up but as an a ma she was more than a little pissed at Clarissa and was glad that the girl hadn't made the decision flippantly as some teens did but that knowledge only helped barely. Olivia was wrapped tight in the covers and was laying facing Natalia's side of the bed and only work up when she felt the bed dip with Natalia's weight an hour later. "Baby go back to bed"

"But what?" Olivia asked blearily. "What?"

"We didn't get a change to talk to Rafe for long because he was on duty but he promised to call early tomorrow morning. Clarissa thought it over and decided that she overreacted."

"Good"

"Get some sleep baby"

"Did you feed Thomas?" Olivia asked as her eyes shut close on their own. She wasn't a dog person and in general didn't like things that licked their own asses and sniffed shit but the tiny dog had grown on her. He was only a baby himself but he was so gentle and sweet with the children. Maybe one day she would let him spend a weekend over when they were keeping the babies like Natalia and the kids kept begging. Um maybe not. She wasn't that out of it.

"Hello? Hello? Is someone there?" Emma called out completely disoriented as the phone jarred her out of sleep. All night she had been stopping herself from calling Clarissa and throwing herself on the girl's mercy. She had asked for space and after listening to Clarissa list all the ways that she'd essentially been a bullied Emma thought it only fair to acquiesce. When Olivia had tucked her into bed they spent a long time talking about Emma's aggressive behavior. "Emma I'm sure she'll come around in a few days. You two have known each other forever she's just not used to your Spencer temper baby. Once she cools down"

"Mom she said. She was completely right. She was so right and I didn't even realize I was even doing it"

"Listen this woman was terrorizing Clarissa. She was using her position to preach hate and ignorance. If anyone is in the wrong here"

"No. Not about that about me being a bully. About me bullying her"

"Emma you would never hurt Clarissa. You would never hurt anyone. It's not in you sweetie"

"But I did. She would tell me she didn't want to talk or that nothing was wrong and I would hold her until she talked. I even stood outside her door in school and held her dragged her to the football field just to get her to do things my way. I just kept pushing and pushing and controlling and controlling and now she's sick of it. She's sick of me and I don't think she will ever"

"Baby you were just trying to protect her and" Olivia said trying to reason.

"No I wasn't mom I was controlling her. I was telling her how to act and making her do what I want. I was acting like I was her mother or something. Jesus I'm surprised she stayed with me this long. I was such a total douche"

"Emma! I don't want to ever hear you say that word again. Natalia would kill both of us. Jesus"

Finally the woman got her child settled down and they both eventually eased into a fitful sleep. "Ris I mean Clarissa?"

"It's okay Em you can call me that. I mean unless you don't want to talk to me anymore. Which I totally understand if you feel that way after the way I acted."

"No I was wrong. I should have never did what I did. I had no right to hire someone to spy on Ms Masterly."

"That's okay. She has been a total tit lately" Clarissa said with a nervous giggle.

"No its not okay and its not okay that I keep trying to control you"

"Em"

"No you were right I take total advantage of you. I can promise that I won't ever do that again Rissa. I don't want you to ever feel scared or pressured by me"

"Em I never have. I have always known that you wouldn't hurt me baby"

"Yeah but you shouldn't have to deal with my power trips. I'll go to counseling if you want. Whatever it takes I want to make us work." The pair reaffirmed their love for each other and made promises to protect and nurture the love they'd just taken for granted. Emma couldn't promise to change her temper but she vowed never to let it overtake her.


	16. Chapter 16

"But momma" Cat whined from her seat between her sister and Ava as she looked up beseechingly for help. Spence and Stino were sitting on either side of Ashlee and she was alternating in between feeding them their favorite meal of macaroni and cheese. Usually Stino and Spence were pretty independent and both had fought against being fed by their parents even before they made it their first birthday. But since finding them awake Stino had been demanding special attention that was usually reserved for Ally or his sick days. After she changed the channel on the tv Stino had reached up towards her with his hands up stretched demanding to be held. Spence thinking that this was some sort of game began reaching as well and following her big brothers example Ally played along. Ashlee laughed and began to walk away before she felt her oldest song wrap himself around her and heard his whispered "mommy please" in a desperate voice that she hardly ever heard. Turning around the other two children were back to playing with their toys and wrestling with each other but Stino stood still with moist eyes looking up at her.

"What's wrong baby? Are you feeling okay? Do you have a tummy ache?" Ashlee asked bending down on one knee to stroke his cheek and fore as she made soft circles on his back. "Do you need to lie down baby?"

"No I want" he said and then shook his head as he was prone to doing when he was frustrated by his younger brother or difficult homework. In general Stino was the most composed child she'd ever seen. He was only six but in some ways he seemed much older and many parents often commented the same view to her and Ava. He was serious and gentle and he took his role as big brother almost as like a sacred duty. He was always watching out for them even when their antics made his life difficult. One thing that was obvious to anyone that spent any amount of time with the boy was that Stino hated to be dirty. He played games and sports and roughhoused like other boys but once he was done he wanted a bath right then. No running from soap for this kid and he liked things neat and orderly. Only Cat was somewhat similar but Spence was the total opposite but Stino would let Spence mess up his room and dirty his things without very much complaint. He watched after his sisters even when they made it impossible for him to concentrate on his video games and puzzles. His parents and grandparents often found him cleaning them up or providing them with his snacks when no one else was near. So for Stino to beg to be held and cuddled was a huge deal. "Baby?"

"I don't want you to be sad mommy"

"Oh baby mommy's not sad anymore. Remember I told you that I would stop being mad after while? Well I'm not sad or mad anymore I promise. Okay?"

"Can I go see abuela and mama?" he asked with his head tucked in her neck and hidden under her hair.

"Of course you can go see them baby. I just wanted you and your sisters and brothers with me last night because I was feeling sad."

Looking up sharply he asked "But your better now?"

"Yep I am all better. So how about you help me clean up Ally's and Spence's mess" He then shyly informed her that he had made a mess as well. Looking at her bashful beautiful boy she could see so much of his father in his solemn face sometimes. Curly brown like his Rivera relations Blake and Natalia had convinced his parents to let it grow long. While it was not as long as before he started school it was still much longer than he'd had it in years. The big loose curls made him look even more like his father. Her baby was short and even with three years separating them Spence quickly gaining on his older brother. Of all the children Stino was the only child that sat still long enough to pick up his abuela's Spanish and although he was not fluent it was only a few years off. Often Natalia and he would go to the Spanish Sunday school service if they over slept and missed the English one. There was no denying Rafe's imprint on Stino but she knew she wouldn't be so sanguine if the man threatened to claim the boy as his own.

Looking at her wife feeding the two boys Ava smiled before she was slapped soundly in the face by Cat. "What? Jeez?" Ava groused. Wasn't there a law that children were supposed to be seen and not heard. Somebody should tell her kids about that. "What do you want Catherine Spencer"

Frowning her face "No! I Cat not Catrin" Cat protested. Whenever Cat was not allowed to sleep her full ten hours she was a bit snippy and when she only got six because her brother and sister insisted on jumping on the bed because they were tired of watching Spongebob and the Powderpuff girls Cat was in a rare mood and nothing short of constant chocolate pleased the girl. So this morning she was totally against her full name although two days ago the girl had announced she only wanted to be called "Catrin" after hearing Blake use her name.

"What did you want sweetums"

"I not sweet I CAT!" the girl hissed.

You're not just whistling Dixie Ava thought rolling her eyes. A pint sized Olivia with a full sized attitude wasn't easy and she had the next fifteen years before she could legally kick the kid out. "Cat what do you want? What's bothering you?"

"She ate mine" Cat said with furry pointing at her smiling baby sister. For some unknown reason Ally was the only person in the entire family that could push Cat's buttons without fear of violent reprisals. Her grandmothers, parents, brothers, aunts, and even uncle Colin and cousin Sarah had felt the three year old's fists of furry and kicks of torment. Colin sported a permanent badge from tickling Cat after she'd told him to stop. She snagged his arm with her finger nails and ran them up and down the boy before he could even scream for his mother. But for some reason Cat allowed her sister to test her in ways their parents marveled at. Ashlee thought it was because of the perfect example that Stino had provided but Ava was of the mind that she was just waiting until everyone was gone. Whatever the reason Ally was snacking on Cat's apple slices and completely ignoring her own.

"Hey you" Ava warned picking up the year old girl and holding her on her lap. "You have your own apples missy" Once Cat was confident that Ally wasn't going to pilfer anymore of her Washington Delicious she calmed down considerably.

"I want mama" Ava heard her daughter say as she munched on her apples.

"Mama!" "Mama!" Spence yelled pounding on the table. The kid liked any excuse to raise his voice. He reminded her so much of Doris is was crazy so of course it would be logical that only Blake could control him for any extended time. Ava felt a thump to her midsection and looked down to see Ally nodding her head back and forth into her ribs.

"Calm down you guys. I'm going to put the four of you in the attic if you keep acting up"

The children didn't even respond to the everyday threat by their mama and Stino looked up Ashlee and wondered aloud "What about Thomas we forgot him. He didn't eat"

"I'm sure your grandmothers took care of him but we will go by there after we leave here okay" Ava and Ashlee had both turned off their phones once they drove off in anger last night but Ashlee had turned them both back on after waking but neither hadn't listened to any of the voicemails or looked at the text messages. Sooner or later they were going to have to face not only their parents but also whatever demands that Rafe put before them but at least now they were both secure that nothing and no one would separate their hard won family. Ava was still more than a little pissed at their parents mostly Doris and Olivia so she let Ashlee handle when the meeting would occur. If it were up to her the women wouldn't see her or her children for the next month and maybe that would teach them to put their egos aside. Ashlee was more forgiving and called Natalia and Blake asked if the families could meet later that day. Normally they would have met at their home or at one of their parents but for this Ashlee wanted to be sure they could talk and discuss without fear of scaring the children. She suggested a picnic on vacant land near the farmhouse that was secluded but also secure so the children could run for a while without immediate fear of serious injury. As they drove up Ashlee was shocked and could tell that Ava was as well by how well everyone was getting along. Neither would have believed that last night Olivia and Doris were at each others throats. Natalia and Blake were placing dishes and containers around several blankets stretched out on the grass. Doris was laughing with Emma and Clarissa as they set up a volleyball net. Olivia and Francesca were bringing out assorted bags and boxes from her car. As soon as the car door opened Thomas shot out of the car with his leash trailing behind him and the children began to yell and scream to be unfastened from their seats. "If you keep this up I'm going to turn this car around and go home" Ava yelled. Everyone quieted and listened to her for all of two second and then recommenced screaming bloody murder now at the top of their lungs.

"Why do you insist on taunting them?" Ashlee laughed and watched their children spring towards their family. First they tackled Doris, Emma and Clarissa. They were a bit gentler with Blake and Olivia but not by much but with Natalia they were most gentle of all. Even as young as they were they could tell she was a woman that needed to be handled was delicate care. Kisses and hugs and tickles and giggles were exchanged as if they hadn't seen each other in years not less than twenty four hours ago. Ally was good on carpet but better on wooden floors and not very good at all on grass especially when she was overly excited so Ashlee held her as they walked forward. Ally was shouting and jumping in her mom's arms trying to urge her to move faster. When they finally reached everyone Ally was so glad she just threw herself forward and was very lucky to be caught by Doris' quick reflexes. They ate and talked about everything and nothing and completely forgot about all the stress of the previous day until the children and teens and Thomas tried their best to play volleyball. The lack of stature forced Emma to suggest dodgeball but Clarissa was worried that someone would end up with a fat lip if Cat was hit so they settled on kickball and Thomas just ran with whomever was running. "So what did Rafe say?" Ashlee asked as she looked over the children trying to keep her voice lighter than she felt.

"We called him last night after you left but he was on duty and had to call back. This morning I asked him what he was expecting from you and Ava concerning Stino and what kind of relationship he was hoping to create with him. And I warned him that if was thinking that he could start being a father to Stino it probably wasn't going to happen"

Ava interrupted as she saw the stress coming back to her mother's and Doro's face. The last thing she wanted was for the day to be ruined y unnecessary arguing "We've decided that we are going to tell Stino about Rafe. He is going to start wondering soon anyway once he spends more time at school with other kids and they start talking about their families. So we will tell Stino but that doesn't mean that we're saying Rafe is going to be his father. He can be his uncle and if when Stino gets older he wants more than they can work on that together. If Rafe wants more than that we are prepared to do whatever is necessary to legally protect our family" Ava warned looking at each of the older women in turn.

"Ava I already told him that if he was looking for custody or mandated visitation I would never support it because it would inevitably hurt Stino. I have never seen a little boy so happy and content as he is and that's all because of you and Ashlee. Rafe knew what he was doing when he agreed to be a donor. After I learned about what you all had done I begged him to look in his heart and see if he was willing to accept being Stino's uncle instead of his father and he said that he was. And I don't think that's changed but he just don't want Stino to grow up and think that his father didn't love him. That's what his main concern is."

Looking at Ava Ashlee blew out a deep sigh and smiled "I don't know why I wanted Rafe to be his father but I did. It felt so right and I have never regretted having your son or you as parts of our lives. There is so much of both of you in him" The rest of the afternoon was spent playing and laughing and waiting on the phone call from the man in question to Ava and Ashlee later on that night at the farmhouse. Once the sun began to dip under the horizon the and it began to get a bit cooler the children were eventually coaxed into the cars. They caravanned past Cold Stone and picked up an couple of gallons of assorted flavors and watched Dual Survival as they laughed at Dave and Cody. As the episode was wrapping up the house phone rang out and all the adult's stopped and looked eat each other with apprehension. Olivia and Ava got up first and the daughter watched her mother closely on the phone. "Hi Rafe. How are you and Sherry? Yes we're all here waiting on your call. Ava's here if you want to talk to her." But as Ava was attempting to reach out Ashlee took the phone and placed it to her own ear.


	17. Chapter 17

It happened rarely but there were times that Olivia woke before her wife. They had both been under considerable stress yesterday and Natalia got home just a little before eleven at night. Normally the Latina was already in bed at a quarter to ten even if it was a weekend. Saturday was the family's day to run around and prepare for the following week and Sunday was for resting at least for Olivia and their children. It wasn't until well past noon that Olivia rolled out of and empty bed because Natalia and sometimes Francesca had long gone to church services. Alone and waiting for the service to be over Olivia and sometimes Emma prepared the meal that Natalia usually cooked Saturday night. Generally a few times a month the house was filled with family and friends laughing surrounding a hearty meal. The Wolf-Mahlers and Wolf Peraltas were regulars but frequently the Lewises and the Coopers were on hand to break bread.

Today however it was almost nine and Natalia's head was buried not only under the blanket but also a few pillows. Stumbling out the room Olivia passed her youngest child's door and cracked the door to peek inside. Francesca had kicked off all the covers and had wriggled some of the bedding loose from beneath her. Her body was spread eagle across much of the surface and she was snoring lightly. It was of no use to cover the girl because by the time Olivia made it back to the hallway they would be jettisoned away again but Olivia did just that and watched as the sleeping girl kicked them into a heap on the floor. Shaking her head Olivia went to Emma's room. Emma was tangled in the comforters and slept with her cell trapped between her ear and the pillow. Her face was less strained and there was even a faint trace of a smile and there weren't any fresh tear tracks. Freeing the phone by shifting Emma's head Olivia almost placed it on her end table but thought better of it and placed it by the girl's hand.

As she prepared her coffee Olivia thought of just how complicated life could get as one got older. At this point in her life Francesca's happiness was made or lost based on whether she got an invitations to after school parties. Emma's heart was hanging on a seventeen year old's decision whether or not to continue their relationship. Ava's family could be ripped apart by fateful choice made seven years ago. Couldn't her girls just be happy and couldn't their lives just be peaceful and secure for a few moments. Was that too much to ask. Since falling in love with Natalia Olivia had been unconsciously simplifying her life. She ate home cooked meals and regularly did laundry and prepared school lunches. Never in a thousand years would Olivia have thought these menial choirs would give her not only a sense of peace but also a sense of belonging and of connectedness. Didn't the fact that she changed her life and created a happy family mean anything at all?

"Mommy did mama already go to church?" Francesca asked as she sat the table with Olivia and immediately picked up the woman's cup of coffee as soon as her mommy put it on the table to fix breakfast.

"Hey that's grounds for a butt kicking where I come from" Olivia growled as she waited for her daughter to put the cup down before she snatched it back. "Get your own"

"If you don't tell then I won't" Francesca smiled as she walked to the pot and started filling the mug up with the rich dark liquid. Ever since she'd been a child the girl was an absolute fiend for java and was the only one in the house other than Olivia that could tell the difference between a two dollar can of freeze dried flakes and a thirty dollar a pound special roast. But Natalia wasn't interested in cultivation her daughter's expensive palate where coffee was concerned and wasn't pleased about another caffeine hound in the house. Most children might drink coffee just because it made them feel like adults but Francesca was the only child that Olivia had ever met who drunk hers black. Once the girl had filled the cup halfway Olivia cut her off. There was no way she was going to explain a wired Francesca to her wife. "But mommy"

"But nothing Fancy if you want more you've got to put milk in it"

"That just messes it up" Francesca said pulling a long face and Olivia tended to agree but those were the rules at least until the girl was out of middle school. By the time Emma and Natalia had joined them at breakfast Francesca had replaced her beloved coffee with orange juice and Olivia had the table filled with eggs, pancakes, yogurt and fruit. "Mama can I have a cup of coffee please?" Francesca asked turning her pitiful eyes towards her mother. Olivia just watched the interaction without saying a word because she knew she couldn't just settle for one cup in the morning especially if it was only half of one.

"So I guess that means you didn't have any before I got down here?" Natalia asked and then turned to her wife with a heated stare. Feeling guilty Olivia accidentally gulped her drink too fast and had to walk off to keep from spitting it out. As she started on the dishes she heard her wife ask "Did you at least make her put milk in it Olivia?"

"What? How is this my fault?" Olivia asked watching her daughter gleefully sipping her final serving.

"Our daughter is addicted to black double roast and you don't know how that's your fault?" Natalia asked with a laugh.

"Its better than drinking milk actually. You don't know how much steroids and antibiotics they give those things" Emma chimed in putting her own dishes in the sink as she left the room drinking a cup of soymilk.

"Not helping Emma" Natalia said as the two sisters went to watch television in the living room. "It felt funny being the last one in bed" Natalia said as she dried the dishes Olivia washed.

"You had a rough night. Anyway you didn't miss much I just threw together some breakfast"

"And corrupted our daughter"

"Hey is it my fault she has discerning tastes? You should be proud that she enjoys the finer things in life"

"Just know that that response isn't going to fly if I catch you two sampling an expensive bottle of wine before she turns at least eighteen"

"Yes ma'am" Olivia laughed and was about to respond when the house phone rang and Emma called out to everyone that Rafe was on the phone. It was almost an hour later before Natalia was able to wrestle the phone from her daughters and got the phone and her wife in their bedroom. Both women were more than a little nervous talking to the young man. They didn't want it to seem as if they were insensitive to his position but in their hearts Stino belonged with his mothers. Rafe had agreed to those conditions and it was much to late to disrupt not only Stino's and his parents lives but also his siblings lives as well. There was not going to be a good resolution for anyone if the courts got involved. "Hey Rafe. How are you?" Olivia asked trying to feel her stepson out. He had never gotten as close to her as Ava had gotten to Natalia but they were worlds away from the hate that had almost poisoned her fledgling relationship with his mother. His military career didn't allow him to visit as often they might like but he was an integral part of the Spencer Rivera clan. Francesca absolutely adored him and was already bugging her parents to be allowed to fly to him on her own for her birthday in addition to her trip with Emma this summer. He and Emma texted and tweeted each other regularly throughout the week. When Ava had been traveling regularly for Beacon business she always found ways to spend a few hours if not a few days with her brother.

"I'm okay Olivia. What's going on over there? Ma you seemed pretty stressed out when you called me yesterday."

"Rafe it has been very stressful around here for the for the past few days. When you called Ava earlier what did you actually say to her about Stino?"

"Stino? Umm I don't know ma. I told her that I would be in town in a few weeks and that I wanted to see Stino and spend some time with him. And that maybe he could come up when Fancy and Em fly here"

"Why would you ask her that Rafe?"

"Why not Olivia? I mean Sherry and I can take care of a six year old and it's not like"

"Rafe when you asked Ava that she assumed that you were asking to change your relationship with her son. She and Ashlee were worried that you were going to ask petition for visitation or worse" Natalia tried to explain as calmly as possible.

"What? They thought I was trying to take him away from them?"

"Yes Ash has been very upset and worried since Ava told her what you said"

"Ma you have to believe me I would never do something like that. I would never want to interfere in his life like that. I mean I do want him to know about me and I told Ava that I thought we ought to get together and prepare for when he does start asking for his father but I would never force them to tell him. You believe me don't you ma?" Rafe asked his voice becoming rougher with emotion.

"Of course I do mijo. I know that you wouldn't hurt our family that way" Natalia said her voice shaking as her wife wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I was upset when I talked to Ava maybe that's why she got the wrong idea but"

"What's wrong Rafe?" Olivia asked "if there is anything we can do to help"

"It's fine Olivia thanks. Sherry and I were going through a rough patch but now that's all behind us. We had a miscarriage again and the doctors were worried that she wouldn't ever be able to carry a child"

"Oh God Rafe why didn't you tell us. I would have come there. Listen I can"

"Ma MA!" he laughed as he shouted over his worried mother. "She's fine. They did some tests and did a scan and there was a blockage. She was in the hospital for a few hours and they say we shouldn't have anymore problems now. So everythings good I promise ma"

"Rafe your mom is right you should have come to us. You don't have to go through stuff like this alone that's why you have a family that love you. Your mother and I would have been up there sooner than"

"Yeah I know but everything is fine now and I promise once we get pregnant and need babysitters you two will be the first we call" Rafe said and the three shared a laugh. Before the end of the call Sherry said hello to the women and repeated Rafe's reasoning of not wanting to worry the family. She also helped coordinate where the best place for Rafe to surprise Francesca on their upcoming trip back to Springfield.

"Do you realize that we have a disgustingly wonderful life Mrs Spencer Rivera?" Natalia said still burrowing in her wife's warm arms.

"I do and its all your fault" Olivia breathed into her wife's hair as she maneuvered them towards their waiting bed. The second after they fell on the bed in a heated kiss there was a loud knock at the door. "What? Can't I make love to my own wife in private"

"Olivia!"

"Mama we have to do my project" Francesca said through the door.

"Yeah and you can do that after we've gone to bed. I'm sure there are laws against things like this. This is child abandonment or something" Emma laughed.

"You'll wish I had abandoned you when that door opens" Olivia yelled before her wife laughed and left her alone in bed.


	18. Chapter 18

The minute that Clarissa woke up she called Emma because she felt so ashamed of how she'd treated the younger girl. Emma was one of the most secure and together people she'd ever met. If anyone would have told her that the girl would have been reduced to literally crawling after her in a crowded mall begging for another chance Clarissa would have said no way. No way would Emma throw her pride away and absolutely no way that Clarissa would rip it from her. There were so many different ways that she could have handled that scene and Clarissa felt heart wrenched that she acted so coldly. Sure Emma pissed her off but she never did anything to deserve such harsh treatment. Clarissa was extremely lucky that Emma was giving her the time of day after that treatment. "Em?" she called hoping that Emma hadn't had as much trouble falling asleep as she had. All night thoughts of self recrimination kept swirling around her head. "I didn't wake you did I?"

"Oh course you did. You should know that I don't like to get up before noon on my days off" Emma laughed smiling so hard that her face hurt. A few hours ago her whole life had fallen apart and she wanted to make sure that Clarissa knew how much she appreciated the second chance. Emma had never been a stupid girl and she wouldn't waste this precious gift. Do you think your mom will allow you to come over here? Or maybe I can borrow the car and come get you?" suddenly doubt started to fill the normally self confident girl. What if Clarissa forgave her but still wanted space? She did say that it was going to take time to get over this. Maybe she got back together with me but she was still upset?" "I mean if you want to see me but if you don't that's fine. I'm fine with whatever you want. I promise"

"Em, please, of course I want to see you. Last night Doris and mom said that they would be seeing your parents about Ava and Ash so I'll see you then. Don't ever think that I don't want to see you"

"I just don't want"

"Stop okay. I completely and totally overreacted. Yes you do somethings that piss me off but none of it would make me not want to be with you. I was a moron yesterday. Please say that you forgive me. Please Em"

"There is nothing to forgive Ris. I love you" Emma whispered and felt some of the pain in her chest ease away with the girl's sincere words. They spent another hour or so talking about what to expect from Ms Masterly Monday morning and how Emma was going to dispose of the blackmail material. When Clarissa got downstairs her parents were hanging up the phone and looked up expectantly at the girl. "What? Do I have something on my nose?" Clarissa asked as she moved past them to get to the kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell us about what was happening at school?"

"Doris I don't really want to get into that right now"

"Clarissa we are not just going to let this slide I'm sorry. This woman misused a position of trust and that is not a small thing. No one should be subjected to that. She was a terrible example to her students and your classmates. I really wish you would talk to us about this"

"Mom. I just. I don't know I just guess that if I didn't show her that it bothered me she would get tired of it."

"Honey there are probably students in your class that think what she did was no big deal because no one ever stood up and said she was wrong" The three ate breakfast as they discussed upcoming meetings with the principle and teacher in the following week. "I'm not trying to ruin Ms Masterly's life sweetie but she has to understand that she overstepped her bounds and if she won't correct herself then I expect the administration to step in to protect you"

Clarissa and Blake set about making salads as Doris grilled salmon and pork steaks outside for their family picnic. Watching her mother slicing vegetables and mixing ingredients Clarissa watched her and realized she didn't remember the last time her mother had spent anytime in the kitchen at all in the past month or so. In fact for a while Blake was either at work or upstairs resting. And if Blake did spend anytime with Doris or Clarissa it was only to place a few kisses on their face before she again retreated up to her bedroom. There wasn't anything serious to worry about because her parents had still been kissing and holding hands like they always had but every so often Doris would look towards the upstairs with a sad and distant look in her eyes. "So mom"

"So daughter?" Blake laughed munching on a tomato and a few carrots.

"What was going on?"

"With Ash and Ava?"

"Well yeah but right now I'm talking about you and Doris?"

"What do you mean sweetie nothings going on between me and Doris"

"Not now but before. Mom I'm practically an adult. You can talk to me. Were you two having some marital difficulties."

"Clarissa I promise there are no difficulties going on between us. Okay?"

Dropping down her knife and the head of lettuce Clarissa added "Something was going on. If you don't want to tell me fine but don't lie jeez" before she walked towards the living room.

"Hey. Hey Clarissa. You're right okay. You are right. I guess I'm just not in the habit of sharing my problems with you. You're growing up but you're still my baby. I'm sorry for hiding things from you"

"So are you and Doris fighting?"

"No no Doris and I are great honey I didn't lie about that. I didn't want to worry you about this but I have Addison's Disease."

"Wow. When did you find this out?"

"Seems like years ago but it was Friday. I had some tests run a few weeks ago and Friday I got the results. Do you have any questions about it? I know it may seem scary but it's really not"

"No I know what it is. Your body doesn't make enough steroid hormones and you have to take supplements."

"How the hell did you know about this?"

"We learned about it anatomy when we did the endocrine system. Did you know Kennedy had it?" At that the woman took her daughter in a close hug as they both laughed. The picnic had been one of the best times that the families had spent together in a long while. Emma tried her best to get the babies to understand the rules of taking turns but each time it was someone's turn to kick the ball everyone ran towards the ball and left their positions in the field or on the bases. In the end it just became easier to kick the balls randomly as they ran up and down the field. After awhile their parents joined the fray and several times had used her bad heart history to pull a fake out.

It was a little past dinner time but no one was hungry after gorging themselves on all the treats during the day and all the kids even energizer bunny Spence was flagging. The boys were on the floor snoring and Cat was laying her head on her aunt Francesca's shoulder as they sat between Clarissa and Emma on the sofa. Ally was in a Spencer mood as Natalia and Ashlee were given to calling them and demanded that Doris hold her immediately. She held on tight to her grandmother even as she slept and when Doris tried to put her down shrieked so loud everyone in the living room bolted up in shock. Needless to say Doris didn't attempt to put her down again until she was sure the girl wasn't going to wake again. Sitting in the kitchen holding the girl in her lap Doris and the rest of the grandmothers listened to Ashlee talk to Rafe on the phone. Ava stood close to her wife listening in as best she could. Natalia sat at the table in Olivia's lap and Blake was sitting beside Doris stroking Ally's back and hair. Everyone was silent hanging on Ashlee's every word trying to infer from her voice and tone how the situation was going. From their conversation with Rafe earlier Natalia and Olivia seemed to think that the young man was seeking nothing more than access to the boy and the hope for more if Stino ever decided. However that didn't mean that things couldn't get screwed up again in a supposed moment of calm. "Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well we will see you and Sherry when you fly in. That's fine. Talk to you later" and then Ashlee handed the phone to his mother and pulled Ava's hands and lead her to a wall and leaned them against it waiting for Natalia to end the call.

"So what did he say?" Blake asked looking from Natalia and Ashlee and back again.

"He said exactly what Natalia said he would and he apologized for scaring us and he offered to be there with us when we told Stino about him. But I told him it was Ava's and my responsibility not his"

Olivia questioned "What did he say when you told him Stino would only come visiting him once the rest of the children were old enough to visit as well?"

"He agreed that this wouldn't work unless he made efforts to be as involved with all the children not just Stino" Both Ava's and Ashlee's parents offered to be there when the couple had the talk with Stino but relented when Ashlee again stated that it was her and Ava's responsibility no one else. Ava and Ashlee decided that there was no time like the present to break this to the six year old so they asked their parents to watch the rest of the children while they took Stino home and prepared for their discussion in the morning. Watching the three drive off into the dark Doris held her wife tightly and silently prayed that the morning sun would find her family on their way to healing.

"They are going to be fine Doris. Stino is a smart little boy. He knows how much his parents love him and he knows how much we all adore him" Blake whispered as she held her wife in their bed. Ally and Spence decided to stay with Doris and Blake while was dead to the world and was just transferred to her farmhouse bed.

"I hope your right"

With silent prayers Blake assured "I am baby. I am"


	19. Chapter 19

Augustino woke up in his room alone and didn't hear any noises coming from his brother or sisters rooms and went to investigate what was wrong. Each room was empty he found and by the time he got to Cat's he was on the verge of crying. Cat is never up before me he thought. Where was everyone? He doubled back and went to his parents room just as he always did upon waking and found it empty as well. Did they forget about me he began to worry but it was eased just a bit when Thomas walked up towards him and greeted him with a kiss. Thomas is here Stino said to himself and they began to run toward sounds he thought came from the kitchen. There were dirty dishes in the sink and a half filled glass of juice on the counter. Looking around for more clues he saw the muted television in the den. The door to his mama's study was cracked open. They were not allowed to bother mama if she was in there because she had important homework to do his mommy kept telling them. His brother and sisters didn't always follow this rule but he knew how important it was to get your homework done right and on time so he never knocked if he could help it. But right now he was scared because no one was around and he didn't know when they would come back. Holding Thomas tight Stino curled into a tiny ball as he sat in front of the door. He didn't know how long he sat there silently crying before Thomas started barking signaling that he wanted to play. "Hush Thomas mama is doing homework" he tried to say but kept getting choked on tears.

"Hey what are you doing down here?" Ashlee asked as she walked out the study to investigate whatever damage the puppy had initiated. "I didn't know you were up. Why didn't you come into the room with us?" Ashlee asked but became concerned when she saw the tears falling down her son's face. Bending down and moving his face towards her own she felt her heart contract as she always did when one of her children were in pain and she didn't know why. "What's wrong baby? Why are you crying?"

"I didn't see no one. I thought I was alone. I thought you and mama forgot me."

Sitting on the floor beside him and taking the boy in her arms she wiped away his tears and kissed his brow before she started speaking again. "Baby your mama and I would never leave you home alone and we would never forget you. Why didn't you just come into mama's study if you were scared?"

Stino was becoming so overwhelmed that he was hiccupping as he cried and Thomas was doing his best to comfort his master as well with his constant licks to Stino's face. "You said don't go in there cause mama is doing homework"

Ashlee looked up sharply as she felt the six year old being lifted out of her arms and into the air. Ava had heard some talking and had wandered in her doorway unnoticed by her wife and child. "Listen to me bud if you get scared or you get in an trouble just come in my room and get me okay? You're my baby so that means that you and your brother and sisters are way more important to me than some stupid homework. Okay?" Eventually he settled and they fed him his breakfast and finally ended up in the living room and Ava began the conversation she and Ashlee had known would someday come. "I guess you're wondering why your brother and sister aren't here?"

He just looked up and shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't that he didn't love his siblings but it was nice to be able to play with something without worrying if one of them was going to break it. It was also a lot nicer to have his parents all to himself. Ava and Ashlee made it a point to spend quality one on one time with each of the children but it was rare that the children got both all to themselves unless they were going to a doctor's appointment. "Am I going to get a shot?" he asked with apprehension.

Laughing Ashlee hugged him then told the boy "No baby you are not getting a shot today. But your mama and I have something really important to talk to you about. Its kinda complicated so if you don't understand something we say its okay to ask as many questions as you want. And I want you to know that your mama and I love you so much and we are so proud to have you as our little boy" She wanted to say more but had been forced to turn her head away because of the onslaught of following tears. They didn't want to scare the boy.

"I love you too mommy" he responded and hugged his mother back "don't cry mommy I love you too"

Pulling herself together Ava tried to continue where her wife had left off. "Stino do you remember what I told you about how mommy and I decided to have you and your brother and sisters?"

"You said that you loved mommy so much that you wanted to make a family together. Right?"

"That's exactly right baby" Ashlee said with a kiss to Stino's head. "Your mama and I wanted so much to have babies that we could love and raise. Babies that our mommies could spoil"

"Us!"

"Right. But do you know how you and Spence and boys and Cat and Ally are girls?"

"Yeah"

"Well to have a baby you need boy parts and girl parts"

"But you are both girls"

"Yeah so we asked your Uncle Rafe to give us some of his boy parts to help us make you"

"Did he make Cat and Spence?"

"No do you remember Uncle Sammy?"

"I seen his picture but I don't remember him much"

"Yeah well he doesn't come around much but your mama and I loved having you as our son so much that we wanted another baby. We wanted to make our family bigger and give you sisters and brothers"

"Am I going to get another brother?" Looking at each other in shock Ava and Ashlee tried to move past that question as quickly as possible.

"I don't know about that baby but the point is that your mommy and I wanted all of you but because we didn't have boy parts we had to ask for help"

"Okay" he said nodding his head in agreement.

It had been easy so far but right now was make or break. "Do you know what a daddy is?"

"Yeah people in class have them. They are like a mommy but they are boys" Ava loved his simple logic.

"Right but also daddies give mommies the boy parts. Everyone has a mommy and a daddy even if they never see their mommy or daddy"

"I have a daddy?"

Tears began to prick at Ashlee's eyes. "Yes baby Rafe gave us a special gift to make you but" she didn't get the chance to finish the rest of the sentence because Stino bolted from the room and locked himself and Thomas in his bathroom. Looking at each other in dismay Ava and Ashlee tried to reason with the boy to no avail. All they heard was him crying his eyes out as he broke his parents hearts. "Baby what's wrong? Why are you so upset? Please baby talk to us. We can't make it better unless you tell us what's wrong." Ashlee kept saying through the closed door. Ava was pacing in the hallway debating with Ashlee about just breaking down the door and asking questions later. "No he went in there for a reason and until we figure out why pulling him back here isn't going to do us any good."

"It will do me damn good because I'll know that he's alright jeez"

"Hush Ava! What did you say baby? You don't have to worry you can stay in there as long as you want and we can just talk like this. Baby if you are mad with your mama and me that's okay. I know that it's a lot to think about but I promise you honey we love you so much. So so much. We just want you to be happy. We just want to take care of you and Spence and Ally and Cat for the rest of our lives."

"You aren't going to send me away?" Stino asked with fear from behind the door.

Walking up Ava placed her face and hands on door as she spoke to her child. "Send you away? Is that what you think Stino? Is that why you ran away?"

"I don't want to leave. I don't wanna live with Uncle Rafe. Don't send me away" me sobbed

"Baby we would never send you away. In fact when you're eighteen years old and want to move away to college your mommy is going to try her best to home school you" Ava teased looking down at her smiling wife.

"We promise not to send anywhere away from your family. We don't want to ever go sweetie. Do you think you can open the door now?" Slowly the door opened and the six year old and the lab fell into Ava and Ashlee's waiting arms. Hours later after picking up the rest of their children from the farmhouse and from Blake and Doris' and putting them into their correct bed temporarily Ava held Ashlee close. "So what do you think?" Ashlee asked looking up into Ava's eyes.

"I think it went a lot better than it could have. We just three more to go"

"Of God I don't know if I can do this again. It felt like I was having a heart attack waiting whether or not he was going to accept this or hate us forever."

"Of course they are going to hate us. They're going to be teenagers eventually"

"I'm serious"

"So am I. Yes they might have a bad reaction at first but that's why we have to be as honest as possible and allow them as much contact as they feel comfortable with their fathers"

"I have a feeling that of the two of them Sam is going to be the most hands off. Jesus when is the last time anyone's heard from him at all"

Kissing Ashlee's face "If he chooses to walk away then that's his right but that shouldn't stop us from telling them the truth" Ava responded. "No matter what happens Ash I will never regret creating this amazing family with you. You are an amazing mother and wife and I am so lucky to have this life with you"


	20. Chapter 20

"Did you ever think your life would turn out this way?" Ava asked as she and Rafe sat on the swinging bench on the front porch of the darkened farmhouse as noises of loud children and fussing women and a lone barking dog filling in the silence.

"What being in hock up to my ass to my card shark stepmother or nursing a sore back and neck after wrestling with your badasses all night" After surprising Francesca at her scout's meeting the girl sat at the family dinner going on and on about her troop's year end camping trip. The other children especially Spence were very interested in sleeping outdoors and eating by a campfire. When Sherry told the kids that Rafe had just come back from a month long camping trip and would love to spend a night with them in the backyard the table erupted. Looking at his wife Rafe knew she was finally getting payback for him forgetting her birthday two months ago. It was a hot and humid summer night filled with laughing and singing and Olivia had to keep pulling her wife from their bedroom window later that night. "He's been deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan for God's sake Talia. I think he can handle five kids for a couple of hours in a suburb in Springfield"

"You know you loved every moment of it" Ava laughed slapping the man's head lightly as she watched him nursing a beer. Watching her children gathering their supplies last night she was pleasantly surprised that Cat was getting ready right along side her siblings. Ashlee suggested that she and Ava stay the night as in fear that as soon as Cat realized what camping actually was she would be screaming at the door to be let inside. The girl was not known for her love of the outdoors so the fact that she'd begged Ava to buy her a Hannah Montana tent was nothing short of amazing.

"Yeah I loved having Cat and Spence fighting over the last smore and waking up to Fancy and Stino rubbing two sticks over my head trying to start a fire." Rafe laughed. Ever since he'd joined the military he'd come back to the city two to three times a year to see his mother and sister but he hadn't actually felt as if it were his home. In fact Springfield had never been his home. It was just the place that his father happened to live but now for some reason he felt as if he actually fit. For so many years he felt as if he were just stranger in his own mother's life. Not that she didn't love him still but for nineteen years she'd lived for him alone and then things dramatically changed. However yesterday when he walked into the farmhouse and took his mother in his arms in homecoming that he had not experienced since returning to her from prison so long ago. "Are you and Ash really okay with everything?" he asked not trusting himself to look at the woman beside him.

"It's hard. I mean I won't lie and say that it still doesn't piss me off that we had to ask someone else to help us make our family. I mean not only is our marriage not recognized but I can't even get my wife pregnant which fucking sucks. The most intimate and natural expression of love between people is making a child and we couldn't do that without help" Rafe looked that Ava and saw tears lining her face and thought of how he had felt learning that he and Sherry might never conceive and knew that it was a horrible feeling. "But we have them. We have two beautiful daughters and two beautiful sons and no matter what we had to go through to get them it was worth it. I would go through hell to have them"

Thinking back to that night he'd held seven pound six ounce Ella for the first time he understood her words completely. "But it doesn't help that Sam is a complete shit" Ava finally sighed taking a hard swallow of her gin and tonic.

The twins were now seven years old and had known that their grandmother's brother Sam was their biological father for the past year. While Stino and Spence had taken the knowledge in stride Cat was deeply effected. For weeks afterwards the girl was still melancholy for no apparent reason. They tried family therapy but the girl was the only one that refused to even acknowledge the doctor. Stino did his best to comfort his sister and be there for her but the girl remained walled off and detached. Everyone knew that her reaction was in large part because of Sam acting as if he were nothing more than an anonymous sperm donor. He flatly refused to communicate with the children or Ava or Ashlee after he learned they the twins knew the truth. Phone calls weren't taken or returned and cards and letters were returned unopened. Natalia blasted him for almost an hour when Olivia recognized his handwriting of return to sender on a postcard from Cat and Spence. The older woman was so hurt that she spent the rest of the day in bed ashamed that the boy she helped raise would turn his back on her and his own children. If it had been possible Natalia would have reached through the phone and ensured that the man would never have the chance to disappoint another child. Castration with a nail clipper was her method of choice. That act was the final straw and when his old and worn picture was mysteriously absent from the mantel at the next farmhouse family dinner no one said a word. Olivia took his smiling and open face down and placed it in her small collection of the rest of her dead relatives.

"They are better off without him if this is how he's going to act but I can't believe that Sam would do this. I mean even if he didn't want to be a father why give up the rest of your family?"

"We didn't use donors because we never wanted them to have to deal with finding a man that didn't want anything to do with them. I never would have thought that Sam would treat our family like this"

Getting up and feeling the need to put distance between him and his sister Rafe finally asked the question that had been plaguing him since he walked through the farmhouse doors two days ago. "But how do you and Ash feel about what Cat asked me?" If he had been anywhere else he would have already had a cigarette or two along with the beer he was sipping on. It had taken him several long years to feel truly welcome back in Springfield and he wasn't looking forward to going back to outsider status especially now that he had his own child and really knew what family meant. "What do you guys want me to do?"

Emma was off living in Chicago and enjoying college life with Clarissa but the couple teenager would often fly with her sister little Francesca to visit Rafe and his family. Stino was now old enough to join the three and loved experiencing life on a military base. It was hard for Ashlee to agree to let the boy go but eventually she realized that more love could never be a negative thing and Stino had treated her with any less love or respect after learning the truth and dispelled her deepest fear. Accepting Rafe and creating a spot in Stino's life for him had not been easy but it had worked because regardless the man's DNA could never be erased. But Cat and Spence were a different case all together.

Two days ago after Sherry and the baby were fawned over by everyone Rafe was eventually given his hugs and kisses. Standing back and watching from behind her abuela Cat quietly approached Rafe and lightly pulled on his finger. Thinking that she wanted another turn of spinning in his arms Rafe snatched her up and twirled her around but stopped when the girl whispered something in his ear softly. Natalia and Blake were cooing over the newest member of the family Rafaella Natalia Rivera and Ava and Ashlee were teasing Sherry about her dramatic loss of weight since the birth. The kids were running around as normal and Doris and Olivia were trying their best to figure out a new indoor grill. Clarissa and Emma were even home to reacquaint themselves with their parents back accounts. Anytime all their children and grandchildren were together it was a reason to celebrate and a bit crazy so no one noticed the confused look on Rafe's face at Cat's solemn words. Everything stopped however when Natalia noticed the girl's sad face and no one in her family was allowed to be sad if she had anything to do about it.

Handing the baby off to Blake Natalia walked towards her son and took the growing girl in her arms and asked her "What's wrong sweetie?"

Loud and completely unashamed Cat told her grandmother and the entire family what she'd just whispered in her uncle's ear. "I asked if Uncle Rafe our daddy like he is to Stino" and the entire house became deathly quiet. "I don't want Uncle Sam anymore" the girl explained with a patented Spencer frown on her face.

"Sam sucks" Spence agreed nodding his head and was sharply rebuked by both his mommy and abuela about using that word. Silently though everyone in the room thought the seven year old was spot on in his summation of the man. Just because he didn't want to be a father didn't mean that he had to stop being a Spencer. Not knowing what to say Rafe looked around the room and into the faces and eyes of the women surrounding him. He was afraid that he would see anger and disbelief but instead he saw tearful smiles and nodding heads. That was two days ago and Rafe couldn't go through the next eighteen days wondering if Ava and Ashlee were afraid to tell him they were having second thoughts about the arraignment. "I'm not trying to make things complicated but I do want to be more than just the uncle they see twice a year. I want them to know that I'll always be there for them. I want them to have what Gus and Jeffry were able to give us even if it was only for a short while. You know ? I want that for all four of them" Rafe said trying to finally put his thoughts in words.

"I will never forget those three years that I had my father in my life. I want that for them too Rafe. Both Ash and I want that for them and we know that you won't ever runaway from them. I won't say that it's been easy but I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else but you" Ava said taking the silently crying man into her arms. In the end Rafe became the man that all four children sent fathers day cards to and visited each summer and not just because of shared biological traits and circumstance but because he and Sherry worked hard to ensure the four children knew they were loved.


End file.
